It would be great to write for late-night television. Actually, we take that back; it might stink. We'd rather star on a show about writing for late-night television. Yeah, that would be cool. That's probably why we love 30 Rock, airing Thursdays on NBC. Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin and the rest of the cast make the act of acting about writing seem more fun than actually writing -- that's for sure. Maybe. We're suddenly confused. Perhaps we shouldn't have taken those pills from Tracy Jordan's gym bag.
Setting the scene:
Decorate like the writer's room at TGS With Tracy Jordan. You'll need to grab a conference table and place it in the middle of the room, then cover it with pastries and Starbucks cups, a few empty notepads, and a speakerphone in the middle that you can rig to play ridiculous prerecorded phrases of Jack's for all to hear. The walls should be covered in 30 Rock posters or NBC logos and a handmade sign saying "Just reduced" over a box of T-shirts from Tracy Jordan's Who Dat Ninja? Later, give the T-shirts as party favors. Any bookshelves or end tables in the room should have a few fake trophies and awards on them and perhaps the occasional Kenneth bobblehead. For fun, print out the 30 Rock Slang Dictionary and the Six Sigma philosophy (Teamwork, Insight, Brutality, Male Enhancement, Handshakefulness, Play Hard).
While there's no doubt you'll need to hire a college intern to play Kenneth the NBC page to greet guests at the door, suggest others come with Tina Fey glasses, business suits a la Jack, hoodies and sweats like Tracy, or crazy trucker hats like Frank. Then again, you could just have everyone wear a T-shirt from the hit show the entire TGS staff is crazy about, MILF Island.
On the menu:
Aside from the aforementioned pastries we recommend serving Oysters 30 Rock-efeller Center.
On the hi-fi:
Though there isn't a soundtrack for 30 Rock, the show has prominently featured some great songs, including Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys Knight and the Pips, Oh My by GrayKid and At Seventeen by Janis Ian. You can also find the theme music at www.Tina-Fey.org.
The closest you'll get to spending time with the TGS staff is by heading to New York and attending a taping of Fey and Morgan's old stomping ground, Saturday Night Live. Though tickets are normally available only via e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org, you can always get standby tickets for either the rehearsal or live show by standing in line and hoping. Just make sure the show is airing that week!