'90210' recap: Swing-a-Ding-Ding

90210-s3-annie-dixon-ivy-320.jpgWhere, oh where, do we start with the train wreck that was this week's "90210"? Let us just spin our homemade wheel of fortune, and see where it lands... And it's Annie, who is as up her own ass as ever in thinking her boss and her boss's husband are swingers. Seriously. we're not kidding. After lots of leering looks, inappropriate comments, and invitations to backyard barbecues (gasp!), Annie takes it upon herself to make it clear she's not into old people threesomes. Turns out, her boss doesn't want her sex, just her eggs. Apparently, when you're ready to make babies and hard-up fertility-wise, even a hobo killer is a viable surrogacy candidate.

Meanwhile, the leering looks that everyone should be concerned about are those coming from Cannon. His voice haunts Naomi throughout the episode. During an interview about her vision of herself in 10 years, Naomi repeats verbatim from the documentary Cannon showed her before the rape last Spring. Now the old bugger has turned his attentions toward Silver, who is still on the outs with Teddy, and is inadvertently courting Cannon's lecherous advances by accepting an invitation to his apartment to see the aforementioned documentary, which he claims never to have shown anyone. Once there, she instantly recognizes Cannon's words and realizes Naomi wasn't lying. She escapes Cannon's clutches and goes to Naomi, who has dulled the memories of her assault with an entire bottle of pills.

And then there were B-plots: Ausscar carries on with his plot to destroy Ivy's MILF by telling Dixon about Ivy's virginity (or lack thereof). Dixon feels betrayed, but Ivy reveals she lied because she has been afraid of opening up and being rejected since her father walked out on her and MILF. And AAdrianna finds herself on the brink of success when she sings one of the songs she stole from Navid Lite at the recently passed pop star's funeral. Unfortunately for her, the guy who has a recording of NL singing the very same song months prior has other plans in mind.

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