'All-Star Celebrity Apprentice': Gary Busey is back. Nothing else matters

all-star-celebrity-apprentice-press-tour.jpgThe reason you must watch "All-Star Celebrity Apprentice" (premiering March 3 on NBC) can be summarized in two words: Gary Busey.

Season 4's perpetually bewildered oddball is back, along with 13 other previously fired contestants, and stole the show in today's (Jan. 6) panel at the TCA press tour.

Even before the panel, Zap2it and a small group of lucky reporters had the privilege of breakfasting with the Oscar nominee.

gary-busey-all-star-celebrity-apprentice.jpgThe many impenetrable insights he shared with us -- during his spontaneous game of "spin the knife" -- included his "powerful connection to the other side" (where he seems to operate most of the time) after his near-fatal motorcycle accident, which him that most words (except for proper nouns) can be defined through acronyms.

For example, "past" means "preoccupation about spending time," while "now" means "no other way." "Fun"? "Finally understanding nothing." (Busey has lots of fun.)

When asked whether he missed his previous season's adversary Meat Loaf, Busey deadpanned, "No, not at all. I never ate meatloaf anyway."

In fact, Busey acknowledges, "the volatile conflict I have is with myself."

"If you want to see your worst enemy, look in the mirror," mused the philosopher savant. "I was there to stay out of my way and help others, help others like me. And I'm very likable."

"The reason I did the show was because I didn't have anything else to do," he cracked.

(He later noted that his real motivation for competing is to raise awareness for Kawasaki disease, from which his young son suffered.)

Busey had the last word at the panel (of course), announcing, "One of my duties I took upon myself was finding the rhesus macaque monkey," in what may or may not have been a metaphor for "Celebrity Apprentice."

"They look like a little child with hair all over it. They keep you laughing -- just don't look them in eye because that means you're invading their territory, and I won't tell you what they'll do to you. It's something you can't describe."

"Even when you see it," Busey concluded, "you can't describe what it was to be in the intestines of 'Celebrity Apprentice.'"

The famously combative Omarosa (the only non-"celebrity" contestant, from Season 1 of "The Apprentice") also offered some choice comments during the panel, noting that Lil Jon "had to break up all the fights between me and crazy a** La Toya Jackson" and promising that "nasty" Piers Morgan returned as an adviser "solely to torture" her."

Other notable quotables from the panel:

"If you're against my charity, you're against Elvis, and if you're against Elvis, you're against the United States of America." -- Penn Jillette, whose "Apprentice" charity, Opportunity Village, was also supported by Elvis Presley

"It took my house burning down to get me here." -- Trace Adkins, on retrning to the show to raise money for the Red Cross, which helped his family after a house fire.

"It puts me in a position where I'm forced to tolerate individuals I wouldn't normally tolerate. I don't tend to spend time around people I abhor." --Adkins again, on his experience on "Celebrity Apprentice"

" Stephen Baldwin will stab you in the front as opposed to the back. Mark my words. But he's my brother in Christ. God bless you." --Omarosa on the actor's "mind game"

"My conflicts with Clay Aiken continued in this season." --Jillette on his Season 5 foe, who is not actually competing.

"All-Star Celebrity Apprentice: premieres Sunday, March 3 at 9 p.m. on NBC.
Photo/Video credit: NBC