'American Horror Story: Coven,' 'Scandal,' 'Arrow,' and more of the week's best TV quotesAdd to Favorites | American Horror Story: Coven
Warning: This post contains a whole lotta spoilers.
"Could people please not move things? Some of us are blind!" - Cordelia, "American Horror Story: Coven"
"Girls, calm down -- I don't have a favorite." - Pilar, Gloria's mom, while Gloria and Claire are fighting on "Modern Family"
"Why the hell not?" - Gloria
"It's a shame because you're so well formed and symmetrical." - Simmons to Mike Peterson on "Marvel's Agents of SHIELD"
"I didn't get to look this good by eating cookies." - Sting to Annie, who's offered him some treats, on "The Michael J. Fox Show"
"We've done many, many bad things, Mellie. But this, I'd say this takes the cake. We can quit now." - Cyrus, regarding the news of Daniel Douglas Langston's death, on "Scandal"
"Well, if you do get a dog, you'll know Santa's real because I'd never get you one." - Diane to her children on "Trophy Wife"
"STOP DEFENDING ME." - Damon, while breaking up with Elena, on "The Vampire Diaries"
"How many women were you marooned with? Are you sure this wasn't Fantasy Island?" - Felicity to Oliver on "Arrow"
"Talk about the king of pain!" - Harris about Sting, who's just taken out an angry man about to assault Mike, on "The Michael J. Fox Show"
"Did I beat Captain America's time?" - Mike Peterson after doing a strength test on "Marvel's Agents of SHIELD"
"She's a sophisticated witch with extraordinary gifts hiding out as a hippie swamp rat." - Myrtle discussing Misty on "American Horror Story: Coven"
"Are you sweating excessively?" - Barry asking Oliver about medicinal side effects on "Arrow"
"One thing we know about Brody is that he changes his mind." - Senator Lockwood, on "Homeland"
"I am way more stalkable than Ke$ha!" - Kelly Clarkson on her Christmas special
"Is this what I am now?" - Jackie, after waking up on Christmas with shaved eyebrows, on "Trophy Wife"
"That is no way to make new humans -- people coming out of people. Like a dirty magic show." - Sheldon, after witnessing his sister's home birth, on "The Big Bang Theory"
"Having powers is cheating ... but the suit's pretty cool." - Ward to Mike Peterson on "Marvel's Agents of SHIELD"
"I killed him. Get me out of here." - Brody, on "Homeland"