'American Idol' recap: Generation Loss, Or: Continual Nuisances In Your Own House

idol-top-2.jpgSo what I heard was that Lauren Alaina was arrested on La Cienega Boulevard trying to steal a car. That's what I heard. All hopped up on Pixie Stix and butter, just wailing on a young mother of three. The Last Ford Focus Picture Show.

Upside: Haley advances to the Final.
Downside: Zero downside.

But they did something to her, some Clockwork Orange kind of thing, and even though Haley was prepped -- ready to sing, okay, "House of the Rising Sun," "I Who Have Nothing" and "Bennie and the Jets," the three best things of this whole year besides learning how Casey Abrams exists -- then I guess it all went to hell.

Haley: "I blame the Judges, basically. Some more."
Seacrest: "We have to blame somebody, because otherwise this is one cold motherf***** of a universe."

AS PER USUAL

Scott looks nervous; Lauren looks stupid and happy. Nothing on Earth could remind me how much I actually like Scott McCreary than putting him next to Lauren Alaina. Nothing could ever do that job.

Scott: "What, me worry?"