'American Idol' recap: Like Pigs From A Gun

american-idol-hollywood-jennifer-steven.jpgI don't know about you but I've been warily excited about the whole Las Vegas twist this year. I mean, on the one hand everything's been kind of awesome this year and on the other hand, this show will always getcha. Well, somehow they've done both: It's all the collective psychotic breaks and Mean Girl meltdowns of Group Night, but also in the grossest location on earth, with everybody already getting styled to death, singing one of the most high-stakes Themes of the entire year. The Rooms of Doom were a pressure cooker but this is more like rock and roll suicide, sous-vide style. See how they run!

"As we whittle away at the remaining contestants," Ryan says -- truer words -- it turns out we're looking for our Top 24, which will be revealed tonight in that Running Man makeover they gave the Chair last year where it's onstage with all the lights and it feels like you're being forced to play some kind of Jigsaw Killer game. How I miss the class of the old Chair, the long waxed-hardwood walk into fate, the elevator that obviously smelled like pee.

They have cut Chris Medina's hair or strapped it down under a hat, and introduced John Wayne to black-people music. Gossip Girl-looking Colton is crashed out, like a dirty-faced little angel, and of course Casey Abrams and Chris Medina are getting along together in the cutest, most Mountain Dew/Cheetos way possible. I wonder what that's like; Chris telling Casey about his pretend wife and Casey playing sad songs on made-up instruments.