'American Idol' recap: NOLA Contendere

seacrest-idol-judges-320.jpgI was all prepped to title this one "Enjoy Being Left To The Flood" -- having recently learned that once again I have my finger on the pulse of last month and everybody already loved that song -- and then stupid Idol once again screwed me by going to New Orleans for Day Two.

Which it now is, so carry on and keep calm. First up, Blake Patterson, who is so nervous it makes you, me, everybody nervous. Or else he is kidding, in his vest and his little hat and his plinking piano about smiling even when you're in a glee club with Rachel Berry, and then the truly insane standing-shriek followed by possibly passing out... Started out seeming mean, ended up awesome. It's going to be a Brittenum kind of day.

They're getting their bon temps out and ready to laissez them however you want. Steven Tyler is still a disgusting c***monger and... Maybe he just isn't on this show, anymore. Like how Randy was, back when he was the attention-hogging pointless one. Now that he's the Paula and J. Lo is the Simon, it looks like Steve might be in the corner for the next twenty weeks. Does anybody have a problem with that?

Okay, besides Steven Tyler?