'America's Next Top Model' recap: Hong Wrong

tyra-banks-antm-15-320.jpgWith interpersonal tensions continuing to heat up, the ladies head to Hong Kong and meet up with actor/action star/pop singer Nicholas Tse, who is apparently kind of like the Justin Timberlake of the East. They are challenged to do a screen test with Nicholas involving a little bit of dialogue and a choreographed martial arts fight scene. Each model gets a martial artist to practice their moves with, but Laura gets to practice with Nicholas himself since she had the most recent best photo. As will come as no surprise to those who have watched Laura express sexual feelings toward a silkworm, she is quite hot for Nicholas and eye ****s him into naming her the challenge winner. She gets to come back to Hong Kong, be featured in one of his music videos and probably bone him for real. Some of the other ladies are not happy about this development, and things get extra tense when Eboni accuses Laura of sleeping her way to the top. Au contraire, she flirts her way to the top! Laura defends her honor and then retreats to strategize about how she can dry hump Nigel during the photo shoot.

And oh, the photo shoot. In an effort to facilitate the exact nervous breakdowns that are to come later, Jay and Nigel have colluded to make the models pose on the rim of the Macau Tower, a building which is structurally similar to Toronto's CN Tower. Apparently, crazy people can bungee jump from the tower's rim, and the girls are harnessed up just in case they take a tumble. Theoretically, there are amazing views of Macau from their vantage point, but it is raining so hard that the view is compromised, to say the least. No wind machine is needed for this shoot since there are extremely dangerous looking gusts that threaten to blow these 100-pound beauties off the rim at any moment. You know that I am usually completely in favor of turns of events that seem like they could kill the contestants on this show, but even I just shook my head and muttered, "That is just too much." Laura of course thinks she's the greatest because she's not scared at all (and in fact wants to have sexual intercourse with the Macau Tower), and nails her shoot. Sophie is quite scared of the whole situation and cries a lot, but manages to pull through, pose well and not get blown off the building. Alisha also has a fear-of-heights related breakdown, which, I am sad to say, is one of two majors in the episode. Laura takes best photo at panel, while Alisha and Eboni land in the bottom two. Though it's Eboni who is eliminated, Alisha -- I think due to a combination of generally frayed nerves, almost being blown off a building, landing in the bottom two even when she thought she did well, and being annoyed to death by her itchy weave -- tells Tyra that she wants to leave. This doesn't save Eboni, but Alisha seems to think saving her soul is worth the defection.