'Bachelor Pad' recap: Deus Ex Bachelor Pad

bachelor-pad-3.jpgBlakely feels she "won the lottery" just because she didn't get voted off yet, and she's pissed at Chris for trying to get her voted off, and when apparently asked what she'd compare Chris to, she lifts up her foot but then has to explain that she's comparing him to the **** on her shoe, like CLEAN YOUR SHIT-COVERED SHOES, BLAKELY.

Meanwhile, Chris is suddenly anti-lying, at least when people lie to him, and he seems somewhat chastened that his Bachelor Pad power play didn't see him welcomed as a liberator. Sarah feels really bad for Chris for some reason, so she decides to climb in bed with him.

Elsewhere, other contestants are discussing, basically, what a moron Chris is, which I can get behind, and Michael is instituting an ABC (Anyone But Chris) policy.

Kalon has swung by the Chris-Sarah snugglefest, where Chris gives him **** about not voting for Blakely like he said he would, and I think you could take Chris much more seriously if he weren't lying on the top bunk in a bunkbed like a fifteen-year-old. Kalon, for his part, calls Chris on his pot-stirring bull****, and Chris is all, "Nuh-uh, you are" and then he throws rose petals at him? I guess those are what's in the bed, so I guess Kalon's lucky Chris didn't throw stiff socks and tissues at him.Chris finally manages to get his self-pitying crybaby ass to get mad at Ed for lying too, and Ed talks about what his partner needed him to do, and then schools Chris about what loyalty means (it means not being on your third partner within four episodes). Chris starts yelling, and all you need to know about Chris comes when he refers to himself as a "grown-ass man". Ed says the game is stupid and gets up and smashes a wine glass. He must not be a grown-ass man!

The next morning dawns with Chris still feeling sorry for himself because his "two best friends in the house" lied to him. "Friends aren't supposed to lie to each other," says Honest Chris.