'Big Brother 11': The wrath of Russell

Laura_bigbrother11_290"Big Brother 11" has been pushing the high school theme on us all year and this week their efforts were finally fully realized, with jock Russell spending the episode bullying brain Ronnie. In all of those 80's teen movies BB is so desperately channeling, however, weren't we supposed to root for the brain? Because Ronnie is making that really, really difficult right now.

Before we get to the John Hughes homage, however, a quick recap: the cliques started to turn on each other; the house divided into two groups with Ronnie playing both sides; Ronnie won HoH and put up Jeff and Laura; Laura exposed Ronnie's double-talk; Ronnie talked about backdooring Russell but was too chicken to follow through; Jeff won POV and Ronnie put up Jordan in his place.

Julie welcomes us to the show in an outfit that's vintage Julie: a shiny orange old lady jacket and white pants. Welcome back, Jules! She intros us into the episode and immediately kicks it to the happenings of the house since Tuesday's POV ceremony. Jordan worries she is going home, but Laura, Jeff and all of America know that's unlikely considering Laura's the bigger threat mentally. Laura goes to Ronnie and says she will offer him safety if she stays. Ronnie says she needs to convince Jessie, and everyone will fall like dominoes after that. Does it not bother any of them that Jessie is the linchpin of the entire house? Wake up, houseguests, or he's going to win!

Ronnie makes the mistake of trying to throw Russell under the bus with a lie to his allies that Russell is going around trying to rustle up votes for Laura. Ronnie is dumb, y'all. If he wanted to ruin Russell's game, why didn't he just BACKDOOR HIM when he knew he had the votes to get him out of the house? Evil Dr. Will you are not, Ronnie. You aren't even Mike Boogie. When the house confronts Ronnie about his lies he tries to weasel out by saying things between him and Laura need to stay private because it was a private conversation. What? Laura is sitting there talking about it to you and asking you to tell what happened! You're not going behind her back or anything. The whole house starts screaming and calling him a liar, but all Ronnie does is sit there and deny, deny, deny. Despite his claims of being a national persuasive speaking champion, he's not managing to do a whole lot of persuading in this situation.

After this confrontation, Ronnie holes himself up in the HoH room, surviving on Pringles, Funyuns and the bitter, bitter tears of defeat, until forced to come out of hiding by BB's pleas to go to the diary room. It is revealed that the reason for his isolation is that Russell torments him as soon as he steps foot outside his room. Ah, bullying. I guess this season is just like high school after all! You know Russell was a wicked bully in his day, too. Add a few horrifically inappropriate comments and borderline physical assault, and you've got Dick Donato all over again! Yuck. The torture gets so bad that Ronnie sits in his room and cries, staring at a picture of his wife. I could muster up some sympathy if Ronnie wasn't such a freaking weasel.

During the houseguest Q&A, Natalie spills the beans that the entire house is united against Ronnie. Yes, Nat, we have TVs. We know. During Ronnie's private Q&A, Julie calls Ronnie out on the terrible idea to play both sides of the house. His answer is so brilliantly self-delusional (or such a bald-faced lie) that I had to transcribe it for you: "I took the risk because most times when contestants play both sides of the house they have no allegiance to either side. I actually have allegiance to the athletes, with Jessie, Natalie and all them, so I was actually only really playing only one side of the house to get information for our true alliance." Oh, Ronnie. If this was actually your strategy don't you think it would have been smart to TELL THE REST OF YOUR ALLIANCE what you were doing before you did it, so they didn't think you were a sneaky stinking liar? You don't have allegiance to anyone but yourself, so please don't try to pretend you do.

Time for the nominees' final pleas! Jordan rambles about wanting a Big Mac (huh?) and Laura has the awareness to tiredly tell everyone to do what is best for them in the game, then acknowledge that everyone says that but she really means it. Laura is voted out, with only Natalie (huh, again?) throwing Jordan a vote. In her exit interview, Laura displays some of the common sense and understanding of the game that likely got her voted out as a threat.

The HoH Competition this week is called Buzzworthy, seemingly because the game board slightly resembles a honeycomb. It's like Skee Ball on steroids, or one of those carnival games where you win a live rabbit. The game is single elimination, with each houseguest getting one shot at the board and the person with the highest score at the end being named the winner. By the way, this game looks seriously fun! Jeff and Jessie tie at six points and have to go to a tiebreaker...where Jessie scores six again and Jeff's ball bounces off the seven point slot and out of contention. Nooooooooooooo! Jessie having HoH two weeks out of three is just too much. At least he can't nominate Jeff.

Favorite quotes:

  • "Does he understand he's being WAY too manipulative? I'm just throwing that out there." - Casey, on Ronnie

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