'Big Brother 12': Deja vu

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" Big Brother 12" revisits the events of this season with a pointless recap episode. YAWN.

After recounting the events of Thursday's part of the Final HoH competition, our three remaining Brigade members sit down to a giant meal so they can celebrate their accomplishments and reminisce about their time in the house so far. Let the linking to past recaps begin!

Remember when Enzo started The Brigade? Seems I was a bit harsh on Enzo at the time, because that alliance lasted quite a while, huh? And then there was the Saboteur blackout, where we now learn that Andrew played some weird tricks on the houseguests while the lights were out. Andrew is so awkward, y'all. Next, we get to relive the beginning of "Brenchel." We do get a new montage of the contestants abject horror over Rachel's laugh, which is kind of amusing.

The implosion of Andrew (and outing of Hayden and Kristen) is up next, which was truly one of the highlights of the season. Also a highlight? Rachel and Kristen's knock-down, drag-out fight. The next thing we revisit is the Zingbot, which I loved but wasn't quite as popular with the commenters. What? Zing is a funny word, and the Zingbot said "ZING!" a lot. The bot actually gets a few good zingers in this time. Why didn't they air these the first time around? Next up? Kristen eats a spider. For no reason whatsoever. Kristen, I have a bit of a spider problem at my house. Want to come over for lunch?

The only thing you need to know for the next segments is that Lane + Britney = comedy gold, and Brendon is ridiculous ( but knows how to pronounce Neandertal.) Matt, for his part, ridiculously thinks he is a genius. Matt, using the Diamond POV does not make you a genius. It makes you lucky. Matt is also lucky that he got to avoid the dancing punishment, but not lucky enough to avoid Rachel's disastrous 24-hour return to the house.

So...Lane doesn't understand how to play "That's What She Said." Wow. No time to dwell on that, though, because now we have to relive the worst BB "twist" ever: Ragan the Saboteur! Man, he really didn't have to do much for that $20k, huh? Then, Brendon and Rachel have the most ridiculous argument of all time about how she "is" Vegas and he hates Vegas. Or some such nonsense. HEY! This is a conversation the three Brigade members didn't hear, and therefore wouldn't have been able to recount! Quit breaking your own storytelling rules, Big Brother.

Then....THEN. Then Big Brother does something more shameful than breaking its own storytelling rules and revists something we saw last week. Last. Week. Sigh. Luckily, that's the end and all we have left this season is Wednesday's two-hour finale. See you all then!


Favorite quotes:
  • "I wanna punch that, it looks so good." - Lane, on their celebration dinner
  • "Hahahaha. Vegas. Hahahahha. Vegas." - Enzo, imitating Rachel
  • "I had it before Bieber." - Hayden, when the Zingbot zings his copycat Justin Bieber haircut
  • "This was my first spider that I've ever eaten. I don't like things going to waste, so I decided to eat it." - Kristen

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Photo Credit: CBS