'Big Brother 13's' Kalia's HOH blog: 'HOH is NOT the safest spot in the house'

daniele-kalia-big-brother-13-2.jpg Kalia Booker became the first newbie Head of Household in the "Big Brother 13" house - and she is discovering it is harder than it looks. Read her HOH blog and check out her HOH pictures, plus it's not too late to sign up for the live feeds , which should be pretty awesome this next week.

Kalia writes:

Wow, what a strange, long trip it's been. I cannot stress enough how easy I thought this house would be. How'd I'd come in and completely take no prisoners, lie, cheat, steal, all those lovely attributes that make up the Big Brother game. Then those doors shut behind me and I was completely bombarded with emotions so great, I seriously think I've experienced some that cannot be described with words...and that's big for a writer. Perhaps the hardest part of this game is dis­cerning the truth throughout all the lies that float around this house. I have to constantly remind myself that not every houseguest is playing an honest game and when you're HOH, they will tell you anything to keep themselves safe. Needless to say, that creates a lot of confusion. Personally, the hardest part of this game is being secluded from the people you know you can trust and don't need to be convinced of their honest love for you. I miss my family and friends pretty much every single day of this game and realize more and more each day just how thankful I am for such extraordinary people in my life.

This week has been one of the hardest with just as many highs as lows. The actual HOH competition is a bit of a blur honestly. I knew I had to win and could tell everyone in the house was gunning for me to lose, so I stepped up to the podium, listened to the rules and said to myself, "I suck at chess, but I'm about to rock this competition," and I did. I barely remember the questions, but I knew if I just paid attention to key words and took the risk of ringing in before the question was complete, I'd nail every single one. I won't lie though, one of the things I never seem to remember in this house is the order in which we all fell off the banana, so guessing "Keith" was just that: a blind guess. Guess, I can thank Keith for that one:)

The greatest realization of the week for me is that HOH is NOT the safest spot in the house. It's actually the least at times. I was so excited to win (as I once again reacted with a crazy amount of emotion...Sheesh, could I cry anymore in this house?), but was immediately thwarted by the task of having to nominate two people for eviction. It is NOT easy to make nominations and as viewers saw, emotions ran high before, during, and after the ceremony showing just how insanely hard this game is. I knew I'd nominate Rachel, hands down. It isn't personal with Rachel, despite the fact that some personal exchanges have taken place. It is completely strategic as Rachel has told countless people as well as me that she's coming after me and Daniele. Nominating Jeff was to give myself some insurance that he'd not only play in the POV competition, but also play with such a fervor that he'd win. The only way I could make sure of this was to put him on the block and make him sing for his supper so to speak. It all sounded like a great plan until Jeff and Jordan screamed and threatened me just before the nomination ceremony. Suddenly I wasn't so sure anymore, not of the nominations but whether it was such a good idea to make another enemy in the name of getting Rachel out of the house. But I looked at my family's pictures, reminding myself of their resilience, how strong my mom has made me, and stepped out on the faith that my decisions were right and that I was here to play this game.

Read the rest of Kalia's blog here.

Photo/Video credit: CBS