'Big Brother 8': Morons rule the day

Daniele_bigbrother8_240 It's Sunday, and that means that it's time for another Big Brother episode! We start with our previouslys, showing Jessica nominating Zach and Amber, while Dick and Daniele doubt her loyalty to their alliance. For no apparent reason. But, in quid quo pro, Jessica and Eric are wondering about Dick and Daniele too. However, since America wants Amber's hate speech off their TVs, when Eric wins the PoV he decides not to use it and Amber gets the boot. Which means no more tears, rocking, obsessive necklace kissing, bigotry, or making promises on the lives of small children. Also, no more hair circa 1987. All pluses!

Jameka is the only one really upset by Amber's dismissal and she cries for a moment or two, but soon enough we are off the HoH competition. Which has the HGs sliding over corn syrup and baby oil to try and fill giant fishbowls with colored water in an attempt to raise a silver ball high enough to where they can reach it. When we first saw this competition last Thursday, I commented that it seemed like the tall people had an unfair advantage, what with having longer arms and all. The expanded footage we get tonight shows that there are covers on the bowls, with 3 circular cutouts in each - which evens out the playing field somewhat.

It's still a boring competition, though and thankfully shots of the slipping HGs are interspersed with shots of the HGs talking. Which proves how bad it is if I want them to talk more. Such as Dick's jubilation at Amber's eviction, calling her "a self righteous b*tch" who was full of crap. Where was that attitude in his god-bye reel, in which he soulfully said he was sorry to see her go? Someone has been castrated by the game. It's extra funny that his name is Dick. Well, perhaps only funny to me. But that's enough! Jessica admits that she wanted Amber to stay but that Eric felt threatened by her and promised that it would work out OK. When will the Big Brother production staff finally break down and just get a flashing neon sign that spells out foreshadowing?

Daniele snottily informs us that she feels secure in how she's controlling the game and that it's hysterical that no one knows about the alliance. I think it's hysterical that she thinks she would even still be in the game if it weren't for her hiding behind her dad every chance she gets. Jameka tells us that she wants to make Amber proud, but really, could anyone have a lower aspiration? Zach is convinced it was a huge deal that he won the majority of the votes. Making him Captain Oblivious, because I think the expired bologna in the fridge could have won when compared to Amber.

Back to the competition. A vase is set out and the competitors are told that the first person to fill it will get a phone call from home which they can keep or give to someone else. Since Eric can barely make a single trip without falling, he decides to concentrate on getting the phone call - which he does handily enough. Dick tells us that he feels confident in the game, since his alliance makes up 3 of the 4 competitors. Which would mean something if he hadn't already told us repeatedly that he didn't trust Eric. Jessica and Jameka watch from the sidelines, occasionally shouting out encouraging comments until the next twist is added to the competition. Each competitor gets an extra two cups at the end of their lane and are told they can take the extra cups, but for each one they do, the entire house gets a full day of cold water. All of them go for the cups, and Jessica and Jameka stop cheering with the realization they will have to suffer as well.

Zach_bigbrother8_240 If I were either of them, I would be doubly angered by Zach, who takes the two extra cups ... and ditches his original cup while all the others utilize three cups. If he was only going to use two, he should have only taken one cup, granting them one less day of cold showers. Zach tells us that he took the cups because he felt he needed to do whatever he could to get off the block, especially since Dick had threatened him just before the eviction ceremony. Which goes to prove that Zach is as dumb as he looks. Quite an accomplishment. We are granted a few clips of Dick's threats to Zach and I have to say, I've come to expect more from Dick. As he yells, even Zach laughs at him, and that has to sting. At the competition, Dick tells us he can't figure out how Zach is winning, considering Zach is using only 2 cups compared to his 3. Because people who smoke 2 packs of Marlboro Reds a day usually do really well in competitions that require a lot of speed and physical endurance.

Eric's frustration keeps him back as he repeatedly slips and then dumps his cup out on his own and Daniele's apathy is more than she can overcome. So Zach wins, to the embarrassment of all. Eric intones that every dog has his day and it's proven as a complete moron now has his. Coming from the guy who dumped his cup out over his own head rather than in the bowl, he may want to be careful about how he bandies about words like moron. He continues that he is devastated that Zach won because it may come down on Jessica. As such, he gives her his phone call, despite the fact that Jameka is the one HG who has received no word from home since day one.

Dick and Daniele discuss their strategy, with Dick being worried about Zach (since he threatened him) and Daniele feeling very comfortable with him, claiming she has a lot of pull with him and that she believes that he will do what he said last week and put up Jessica and Jameka. Elsewhere in the house, Eric and Jessica discuss the same topic, but Eric feels it will be him and Jameka on the block and that Jessica should push for that because he is sure he can beat Jameka and stay.

Zach announces it is time for his HoH room reveal and all the HGs collectively sigh and drag their feet up the stairs as if they are going to an impromptu calculus quiz. Zach goes through his basket of stuff exclaiming over a frisbee and calling it a "bee", which Eric laughs at before turning away to roll his eyes, while Dick yawns and Daniele examines her split ends. Jessica announces she is going to get something to eat, Dick says he's going to smoke and Eric and Jameka both just leave. Daniele tells Zach that everyone is scared that he is the HoH and he tells her that her father threatened him, describing the raised voice and foul language Dick used. At least, he tries to describe it, but Daniele starts shrieking "Hello! Hello! Look at MEEEEEEEE!" because she can't stand for someone else to claim victimization around her, adding that his yelling is why she didn't talk to him for years. I'm sure the money she didn't want to pay him back also factored into that equation, but who's keeping track?

Zach tells her that he doesn't feel he can talk to her without her telling Dick everything and she tells him that she has barely spoken to her dad all week. Except for just before she came to talk to Zach. And just after the eviction ceremony. And right after the eviction ceremony. And before and after the HoH competition. But, you know, barely ever. She also asks Zach who he plans to nominate, immediately asking if it's Dick. She must know, if even on a subconscious level, that if her Dad is evicted, she's dead in the water, but Zach won't tell her anything.

Eric_bigbrother8_240 Later that night, Eric and Jessica are in bed and she tells him she doesn't want a big family. Apropos of nothing, I suppose. She also points out Dick is 44 but acts more immature than her 3 year old cousin and that Zach hears things no one thinks he can. She then asks Eric, out of nowhere, if the wonky votes from the weeks previous were his, and without any hesitation he tells her they were. He camera talks that he wishes he could tell her that he is America's Player, but since he can't, he tells her that he knew Mike was a sure eviction, so he voted contrary to see how people would react. When it freaked everyone out, he decided to do it again next week and then let Nick take the fall for it. He then admits that he was also the mustard culprit and Jessica laughs before asking him why he is telling her now. He admits that he thinks something is developing between them and he doesn't want to ruin it. Jessica camera talks that there's a lot more to Eric's game than she realized. Males across America are all saying the same thing as they watch him in bed with her.

The next day, Jessica gets her phone call and it's her younger brother, home from Iraq. She cries and apologizes for missing his homecoming before telling him how stressful being in the house is. Let me repeat that. She tells a soldier who has just returned from duty in a war zone that being in on a reality TV show is stressful. Right. He tells her that her "Booyah!" shirts are being made in their town and people are buying them up, and that she's doing really well. She asks him to tell everyone she loves them and it's over. She cries and tells Eric and Jameka that is was her brother and he's home from Iraq, and they both hug her. She says if he can make it through a war, she can make it through the house. Gosh, is she sure? What about the snipers and suicide bombers? Oh right, there aren't any of those in the house, because it is nothing at all like being in Iraq.

Time to check in with America's Player, where Eric finds out he needs to get Jameka nominated. He goes up to the HoH room and asks Zach what he's going to do. When Zach admits he isn't sure, Eric tries to convince him that Jameka makes everyone wary because she would be impossible to beat in the final two and since Zach has had some personal differences with her, it won't be a shock if he nominates her. Zach denies having any bad blood with Jameka and Eric tries to backpedal, saying that's all the more reason for her to go because it proves she's charismatic enough to keep friends while stirring the pot. Zach merely nods until Eric goes away.

Daniele pulls her dad out of a room (you know, because she hasn't talked to him all week) and tells him that she wants Zach to put up Eric and Jessica because then one of them would have to be evicted, and their hands would be clean of destroying the alliance. Totally leaving out the fact that there's a PoV competition that could save one of them from the block. But Dick agrees with her, because it's easier then listening to her whine, I suppose. Daniele asks him if she should talk to Zach about it, because she can't do anything in the game with out her dad's opinion, and he tells her she should. She bounces off to find Zach, who is in the pool with a pair of jeans wrapped around his neck. This is never explained and will haunt me forever. What the hell was he doing? Sullying the pool water by wringing out his nasty baby oil and corn syrup caked clothing in it?

Daniele tells him that she has information for him but that he has to trust her and promise her that she wont tell anyone that she told him. He agrees and she confides in him that he has to nominate Eric and Jessica because if he doesn't they will nominate him next week. He asks her why and she stutters she just knows that they will. It's a real meeting of the minds, here. She smiles, feeling her work is done and Dick comes in to clean up her poorly executed and ultimately pointless maneuver by telling Zach that if they are going to stick together, he has to mean it. He promises that if Zach doesn't nominate him or Daniele, they will not nominate him next week if they get HoH. Zach agrees, saying, he's going to have to actually trust someone this week.

Jameka_bigbrother8_240 With that decided, it's no big surprise when the nominations come out. At least, it's no surprise to Jessica, who camera talks beforehand that she's sure she's going on the block. Jameka doesn't think she will be nominated, but admits that anything can happen. And anything does, as Zach puts her and Jessica up for eviction. He tells Jameka that he nominated her because it is difficult to get to know her and that he's threatened by her relationships and tells Jessica that he is scared of being next to her at the end because everyone likes her. Which Jessica calls a cop out and Jameka says is unbelievable, promising to fight for PoV. We end the show with Eric getting misty eyed and saying it's his fault Jessica was nominated and he couldn't be more devastated. If she goes, he'll have to sleep alone!