'Big Brother' recap: Infectious Whining

big-brother-13-cast-premiere.jpgI'm back, with thanks to Jacob for covering for me this week. It's like returning back to a job painting hotel-room landscapes after Picasso spent a couple of days doing it for me.

Flashback to Brendon's eviction. Jordan says in the Diary Room that feels bad about it, but Daniele really doesn't, adding that she's ready to send Rachel out next. There's a flashback to Brendon's whispered, his-version-of-encouraging goodbye to Rachel, and Rachel's devastated reaction in the DR. Jeff is most concerned with keeping the target on the newbies to protect himself. Lawon DRs about showing the veterans "We are here to play!" Every time he says that he becomes more irrelevant.

Flashback to Kalia's HoH victory and subsequent happy-cry. Daniele DRs that she's proud of her "little protégé," and happy about being safe herself for a week. Rachel DRs that from her point of view (as if any others are valid), Kalia is the worst person to have gotten HoH, but Jeff is also paranoid, given how Porsche randomly put Jeff and Shelly up against each other in the HoH competition. He's reading everything he possibly can into that.

After the HoH competition, everyone goes inside, and Rachel starts sobbing again as she passes the memory wall. Kalia has a little one-person celebration of her victory in the storage room, which is just about the saddest display of sincere happiness I've seen on this show. And Rachel buries herself in her hoodie and blankets and settles in to a nice long cry-coma.