'Bones' recap: A sperm donor and a botfly in 'The Dude in the Dam'
Prepare to retch again with this recap.
Botflies are real, people!
Sometimes, it's tempting to believe that "Bones" makes up some of its more disgusting scientific aspects. This is not the case with the botfly. The botfly is a real creature that lives in southerly regions and truly does lay its eggs under the skin of a host.
It's gross. And it's very real.
Generally, the host in question isn't quite as welcoming as Dr. Jack Hodgins. This lover of all things small and squirmy is instead ecstatic to have the opportunity to play host to a botfly as it reaches maturity. Angela is disgusted by all of this, but she is willing to stand by her man, even as he gives birth to an insect. Wendell comes to appreciate the scientific merits, even if he still thinks it's yucky.
In the end, Hodgins does "give birth" to a healthy baby botfly. Angela helps with the delivery, and their screams echo through the crime-solving halls of the Jeffersonian.
Beavers help solve a murder
The murder of the week in "The Dude in the Dam" begins with decomposing remains getting stuck in a beaver dam behind a highway rest stop. A quick identification leads Booth and Brennan to Sean Nolan, an occasional model and regular sperm donor.
Yes, a sperm donor. Apparently, that's a profession people have these days. Sean was a mega-donor, so prolific in his ejaculations that local mothers organized an entire playgroup made up entirely of Donor 562's offspring.
But all was not well in the world of donation. Sean worked at a high-end clinic and had lied about his credentials. When the company found out, Sean was fired and had to turn to private enterprise in order to make ends meet. His website and fertility-drug use led to threats and an occasional beating, but that's not how the man died.
Good, old-fashioned infidelity lay underneath the murder. Sean Nolan engaged in a brief affair with the former sperm-bank manager that resulted in her pregnancy. As the dead guy's girlfriend laughingly tells the FBI, Sean looked at kids as trophies, not things that he wanted in his life.
The murder happened when Sean's former lover was laughed at for her pregnancy. She took a hoe from the rest stop and beat Sean in the family jewels before severing an artery in the man.
Even best-selling novelists are dishonest these days
Elsewhere in "The Dude in the Dam," Brennan has to face the consequences of her own tactlessness, as well as a callous attempt at publicity made by another author, Tess Brown (guest star Nora Dunn). Brown has been criticizing Brennan's writing -- this can be traced to Brennan doing the same to Brown's earlier book.
But it's not just about a fight. It seems that Brown's sales have been flagging, so she decided to goad Brennan into a public feud. This way, both authors would profit. Brennan, of course, isn't a big fan of this dishonesty.
In a bout of instant karma, Brown's protestations that her fans are idiots turn out to be her downfall: A nearby, book-loving waitress gets the whole thing on her cell phone.
Fighting may lead to notoriety in today's world. But YouTube videos are what determine true fate.
Good quotes, mostly referencing botflies
- "I do consider myself to be a tactful person. That's a very attractive tie. You don't even notice the milk stain on it." - Brennan
- "You are not on-loan to anyone. You belong to me. Now clean!" - Brennan
- "No one appreciates the power of the mollusk!" - Hodgins
- "How many men can claim they've given birth?" - Hodgins
- "I'd rather read your drivel than apologize." - Tess Brown to Brennan
- "We're all a little crazy, and your crazy just happens to come out in a bizarre and revolting way." - Angela
- "There's nothing worse than a woman scorned who has access to a three-sided hoe." - Angela
- "My love for you is stronger than my gag reflex." - Angela