'Breaking Pointe' recap: Contempo Catastrophes

Previously on Breaking Pointe: The parts for "Paquita" were cast, making Ronnie happy and Christiana sad. Allison messed up a lot, dramatically.

This week: It's the final week of studio rehearsals before they move to the stage. Adam reminds us of the three ballets they're working on, "Emeralds," "Petite Mort," and "Paquita." Allison says opening night is about a week away. During company class, Adam is giving instructions and Ronnie is flirting shamelessly with Beckanne. It's a little inappropriate, really. My viewing companion points out that Rex looks like Rory Cochrane in "Empire Records," and YES, FINALLY, THAT'S IT.

Rex is rehearsing his lead in "Paquita" and I notice for the first time that his quads are, like, Tour de France racer size. He and Christiana run through a piece, and she talking heads that Rex and Allison need to focus on ballet, and not scooping each other's hearts from their bodies. Adam tells us that the conductor is there for the first time this week, and Elena is pointing out that Katie C. is off the tempo. Adam helpfully interviews that "Paquita" is a complicated ballet, in terms of the music, and as Ronnie runs through his section, his voiceover is just so bro-ey. My viewing companions are of the opinion that it's like watching Rob Gronkowski do tour jetés.

Allison's back! And if you'd forgotten, she has four roles in the three ballets, and she's still effing whining about it. Poor Idaho Katie would kill for just one of those roles. Allison says there are three people in the show you don't want to piss off: the conductor, the company manager, and the wardrobe people. I foresee she will piss off all of these people tonight! She says she tries to be perfect and expects the same from the others. And so then she tells the conductor that the tempo is too fast, which, as we've just learned, is kind of his decision. Oh honey. Christiana editorializes that if the conductor doesn't like you, you're screwed. I hope some sort of situation like the ballet at the end of Bye Bye Birdie happens. That would be awesome. Although Allison totally shouldn't do speed.

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