Happy Birthday Captain Holt!
Kevin invites the entire precinct to Holt's birthday party, and while Holt is happy they're all coming, he tells Peralta (
Andy Samberg) that he doesn't believe Kevin is going to like him. Bad move. Peralta's main mission is to make sure Kevin likes him. Terry (
Terry Crews) gives them some basic pointers for grown-up parties, since it's pretty clear none of them are emotionally capable of handling anything civilized. Which is why we like this show.
Kevin heads the Classics Department at Columbia, leaving Peralta with absolutely nothing in common with him, since the classics he knows are Zeppelin and Hendrix (as he tells Kevin.) The whole group gets "be appropriate" assignments from Terry to try and make small talk with the guests -- "keep a low profile, chuckle at anecdotes, and try not to start any conversations."
Peralta, however, drops the title of a "New Yorker" article about human trafficking he read while hopped up on nitrous at the dentist, and Kevin says he wants to discuss it further with him. Of course, Peralta didn't actually read it, but attempts, in vain, to get the article while at the party so he doesn't look like an idiot, and way out of Kevin's league. Undoubtedly, he ends up blustering his way through the conversation ... looking like an idiot. But he gets points for trying.
Joe Lo Truglio) meets a fellow foodie (
Marilu Henner) at the party and ends up making out with her. Match made in heaven, perhaps? Gina impresses a herd of abnormal psychology professors with her colorful behavior -- "complete overlap of ego and id. It's been theorized, but I never thought I'd see it." And Scully can sing opera.
Poor Santiago stakes out the house and finds she and Holt have "so many things" in common, including the same model of microwave. Since that doesn't impress Holt, she invades his bedroom to try and find out more details, and meets Peralta, searching for the "New Yorker" copy in question. They're joined by Terry, who chastises both of them for overstepping boundaries all in an effort to make a good impression.
But then, the tables turn. They overhear Holt and Kevin, fighting about how Holt's "employees" are, as Kevin says, "are acting terribly." Holt sticks up for Peralta and tells Kevin to back off, and that he likes his employees. This scene happens just before he finds half of said employees hiding in his bathroom, with his Corgi. Wonk wonk.
The next morning, Peralta has a brainstorm, and heads to Kevin's office. He tells Kevin that it's not them, specifically, that he has a problem with; he doesn't like cops in general. Yes, he's been married to one for 30 years, but he's also watched Holt be "marginalized, under appreciated and disrespected" by the NYPD. Kevin admits that he decided a long time ago that he doesn't have to love Holt's colleagues, and gives points to Peralta for piecing this all together. Enough that he's allowed to call him "Kev."