'Bucky Larson' fails even more than expected

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We have to be honest. Making a bad "Sucky Larson" title pun briefly occurred to us. But we thought it was more important to take the high road and not sink to the new and unprecedented level of stink that this movie has now established.

Congratulations to "Bucky Larson" for lowering the bar to the point where it touches the floor. There's no going lower. The Nick Swardson vehicle received a 0% on RottenTomatoes.com. To put this in perspective, Webster's defines zero as "indicating the absence of any or all units." Even a Movieline guest review from pornstar Joanna Angel could only muster the following quote: "There were actually scenes that gave me some kind of emotion." Wow. For Your Consideration.

But at least it made some money, right? Come now. What kind of failure would "Bucky Larson" be if it made back its budget? The film opened at number 15, pulling in $1,450,000 on 1,500 screens. Time for more perspective. The number 13 movie, Kevin Hart's stand-up flick "Laugh at My Pain" pulled in $2,000,000 on 97 screens. If you hate math, that means Hart's movie made more money running on 6% of the screens as "Bucky Larson." Yikes.

So thank you, "Bucky Larson." Thank you for showing us that America will not necessarily go see whatever slop the studio promotes. We are a nation of free thinkers who value quality and meaning in our entertainment! Now if you'll excuse us, "The Biggest Loser" is on and we need to watch fat people on an obstacle course.

Photo/Video credit: Columbia Pictures/Happy Madison