'Bunheads' recap: "I Think I Stole A Dog."

bunheads-320.jpgPicking up a few minutes after last episode's crazy dark twist, this week's installment finds Michelle standing in the middle of a hurricane as Fanny commences going completely and utterly insane. What begins as a protest against conventional funerals soon snowballs into a 500-person circus gala on the deck of the Intrepid, with her friends -- including Ellen Greene, who is looking positively dynamite -- looking on as she obsesses about sitar players, lilies and the whole rest of it. All with Michelle pointedly left out of the conversation in a sort of mean-girl pact between Fanny and Truly to make Michelle uncomfortable enough that she'll go away and leave them to mourn in peace.

Meanwhile, the ballet girls are demonstrating pretty much every possible pitfall or problem you could ever have with ASP dialogue, leading us into some ****ing dire situations of forced quirk, unrealistic-if-funny first-drafty ideas, and all the other stuff that could possibly happen in a show like this to threaten even last week's ****ty ratings. It is a tough watch, and it's really nobody's fault but the director's... Who happens to be ASP herself. So maybe this is what her wonderful dialogue sounds like in her head, which is depressing, or more likely she had a million other things going on and wasn't interested in telling everybody how to say her words. Whatever went down, **** is ugly.

Michelle goes on a walk, and an old man asks her to walk his dog, since she's walking anyway. That part was great. She wanders into a bar owned by Mitch Huntzberger, who on this show is wearing some sort of Butterscotch Stallion getup that makes him look disgusting, like he's in disguise, and there's yards more annoying, inorganic, inauthentic, stylized quirk. But before you know it, Michelle's dragged back into the middle of things, and -- after a harsh pep talk from Sasha -- decides to throw a memorial on Fanny's behalf.