'Bunheads' recap: The Milagro Bunhead War

Television Without Pity
Fanny abuses the girls and boys of Paradise Dance to the point of criminality, giving one a black eye and another a gender disorder, and possibly breaking Ray-Ray's leg, in her mad quest to win against Sasha. It's all very scary and harsh, but ameliorated somewhat by the fact that 90 percent of the way through the season, she still has no discernible or consistent personality characteristics.

Sasha's still not happy as a cheerleader, because she is a miserable person, but the complexities of sorority-style intimacy have the other Bunheads seething with jealousy and a yearning they cannot name. Once Michelle is done irritating everybody else in town and making herself look like a fool in every time zone, she does a drive-by guilting to make sure that Sasha knows she's on the road to becoming someone as horrible as Michelle herself unless she submits to Fanny's will. Persuasive, I'll admit.

Sasha's mental breakdown aside, Michelle is mostly concerned with running small business out of Paradise on a rail after a horrible barista manages to finally make the point that her nonstop misbehavior wouldn't be cute on a woman a third her age, and that she needs to be embarrassed at the way she conducts herself. In response, Michelle attempts to rally the town around an encroaching big-box retailer, and is soundly ignored by the townspeople, who already -- and rightly -- hate her almost the full amount possible. In the end, she is lynched by the town for her militaristic attack on the environment, baby ducks, and young children.