'Caprica' recap: The Prime Of Miss Clarice Willow

caprica-polly-walker-320.jpgWow, that was awesome. Maybe I like "Caprica" in inverse relation to internet katana shenanigans. Or maybe in direct relation to amount of Amanda Graystone. Either way, a killa thrilla was this: Lacy f***s things up real good on a Barnabus mission, which causes James Marsters to act better than he's done since the post-Initiative years.

Remember how Keon was always talking about Pan and Hippolyta? Well, they're dead now. Clarice murdered them in totally sick ways because of their disloyalty to her kooky terrorism. And then Keon turns around and gets his head blown clear off by Barnabus for rudely pointing out how crazy nuts all of the grownups on this show clearly are.

So: If you're keeping score, that was all the cute boys left on Caprica. And that was all their brains everywhere.

Who's left? Lacy, who gets kidnapped by Clarice with full bag-over-head action. And that's it, we now have full STO control thanks to Clarice going all nun-with-a-gun Judge Dredd up in everybody's face... Unless I guess Barney managed a last-minute cheat out of the bomb Clarice shoved up his fundamentalism.

During the same exact 24 rainy hours, Amanda was taking meetings, and showers, and jaunts down memory lane about her suicide attempt and how Clarice went all " Terms Of Endearment" in the hospital and how she told Daniel to go be somebody else's creepy husband. Then she met with GDD Agent Jordan Duram, who connected the dots for her once again about how Clarice is clearly a terrorist and that she should grab a gun from home and take it to the cabin for to shoot her... Or flip, and work both sides as a CI until she can find out for sure. Guess which one allows her to hang out in the terror cabin with her best bud-slash-makeout partner, and continue to drink the planet's supply of wine.

All of this, of course, presented in Amanda's glorious patented Fragment-O-Vision, where the camera shakes around a whole lot to simulate what it's like to be that crazy and meanwhile flashbacking to s*** that happened literally at the beginning of this sentence, so that you know empirically what it's like.

What's going on with Zoë and the other Deadwalker? Who cares/Not me. So who's left? Ah, the Dads. Who, along with Sammy, are blackmailing and beating up all the different boardmembers of Graystone Ind. so that they will be Daniel's friend again. Mob tactics. None of the victims are all that interesting except one scary-face lady, and this one guy who is addicted not only to beating up hookers but also smoking something that looks like fudge, or one of those 25-cent brownies from a gas station. Instead of smoking all of the drugs to kill himself like a true OG, Superfudge just leaves a stupid note for his wife and shoots himself in the head. Weeeeeak.

All in all a pretty good bodycount, but only a couple people that really mattered. Daniel and Joe being wiseguys will never be not funny. Amanda, conflicted is what she does so it's nice to watch her acting, but I think first prize this week goes to watching Clarice turn into f***ing Omar over 24 hours. After that, apotheosis really is the only option.

Photo credit: Syfy