There's an old joke that states the only thing left alive after nuclear war will be cockroaches and Cher, and we believe that. Cher can't be... won't be stopped. She's currently providing mentoring for Blake Shelton's team on "The Voice," and she's also been in the news recently for dissing Miley Cyrus and her tongue. Oh, and big shock, she has a new album out and she's going on tour.
She's not a schlump in the acting biz. "Moonstruck" is on about every other weekend on cable: watch it. She may be all Cher outrageous the rest of the time, and show up to the Oscars wearing a bunch of sequins to accept her Leading Actress Oscar for the role, but as Loretta, she's beautiful and simple and renews your faith in second chances. And it has a very young Nicholas Cage and it will make you feel good.
All of these things make us extremely happy. More Cher on TV is a good thing. Always and forever, more Cher. Say what you will about this woman, she's a survivor. She's been in show business for almost 50 years. Five-zero. We love her. And you should too. Here are the reasons why.
1. Cher is 67 years old.
Yes, Cherilyn Sarkisian is 67. She's a baby boomer. Sure, you can say "she's had a ton of work done" and she admits to having work done, but it's good work. She wears wigs. But they're good wigs. Show us any other 67 who looks this good, close up. Work or not, there's some really good genetics at work here and she's obviously doing something right. Have you seen her mom? Her mom, Georgia Holt, is 86. EIGHT-SIX.
2. For some of us, this was our childhood lullaby:
This song came out in 1968. Elvis was alive. Lyndon B. Johnson was President. The Vietnam War was in full swing. And Cher was on TV with Sonny, singing.
In fact, they were about to launch a TV show that would set the bar for comedy/variety shows for years.
3. The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour/The Sonny & Cher Show
For four years, even through a divorce, Sonny and Cher came into our living rooms. Was it cheesy and predictable? Absolutely. But it was also funny. Really funny. Cher would wear some outrageous, stunning costumes and sing and Sonny would be the fall guy. Our dads would ogle and our moms would swoon over the costumes - but she always seemed approachable and real. We got to see Chastity (Chaz) grow up. And the guest stars were choice: The Jackson 5, Ronald Reagan, George Burns, The Supremes, Farrah Fawcett and lots more. It gave us a ton of classic Cher songs that you should know. Like this one. She's singing. On a HORSE.
And here's your "I didn't know that" moment: Steve Martin was one of the show's writers.
4. She married Gregg Allman.
Post-Sonny and hippie dippie '60s Cher, we got serious 1970s Cher. If any decade was influenced more by one person, it was Cher. She married Gregg Allman, one of the founding members of The Allman Brothers Band, the famous rock and blues band known for hits such as "Melissa" and "Whippin' Post." If there's any other picture that screams the 1970s, it's this one.
5. She has won a freaking Oscar.
And no, the famous feather head dress Bob Mackie creation was NOT the year she won the Oscar -- she wore that to freak Hollywood out after being snubbed for her work in "Mask." Cocktail party info for you there.
Have a Cher movie weekend -- Moving Cher Movie Sunday: "Mask," "Silkwood" and "Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean." Fun Cher Movie Sunday: " Witches of Eastwick," "Burlesque" and "Moonstruck" and you can try to hit "Mermaids."
6. She has great dance songs.
She reinvented herself in the 1990s, and became a dance music goddess. And people went bananas over her yet again. "Believe" is still catchy as all heck, and the thumpa thumpa thumpa is fun. Come on, you love it and you know it.
7. And she can also give you goosebumps.
Ok, while Cher herself has been quoted as saying that 2010's "Burlesque" "wasn't a good movie," we don't really care. It was enjoyable the way cotton candy is enjoyable, and on its way to becoming a cult classic. And it introduced her to a new generation of people who may have known her as the singer of "Believe" but not as an actress. Besides, when Tess takes an empty stage to belt out "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me," it's all Cher anyway. And we think she was singing that song about her whole career in general.
Well. We tried. To that, we yield to Cher herself.
Photo/Video credit: JustCherGifs Tumblr/Getty Images