'Community,' 'Pretty Little Liars' and more best lines from March 9-15

best-lines-march-9-15-community-pretty-little-liars-shield.jpgA round-up of the best TV lines for the week of March 9-15.

"Dallas":

John Ross: "You can get your men aboard my train, or you can watch 'em get run over."

Bobby: "Sometimes, the truth hurts."
Trevino: "It'll be interesting to see who it'll hurt more."

"Bones":


Booth: "You shot me once."
Brennan: "It was a ricochet, it doesn't count!"

"Archer"


Krieger: "ISIS had satellites. The, whatever we are, Gang Who Couldn't Sell Coke Straight, doesn't even have cable."

Sterling: "Guys, if we get out of this, the first thing I'm gonna do, I swear to God --"
Ray: "If you say, 'buy a tiger,' we will beat you to death with your own shoes."

"Psych":

Shawn: "If he wants to turn a blind eye to my skill set for four years running, then he can eat a hot, steaming bowl of suck-it soup."

Gus: "Is there a green room, Randall? If so, I drink only vitamin water. Not the sports drink, just regular Evian with crushed vitamins -- Flintstones chewables, all Barneys."

"Teen Wolf":

Agent McCall: "This place is literally the Bermuda Triangle of homicides, disappearances and strange occurrences."

"Community":

Dean Pelton: "Payday is postponed until next week, so this is my freestyle-rap apology."

Shirley to Hickey: "Why do you have so much access to rope?"

"Suits":

Donna: "That present is the reason I buy your present for me on Secretary's Day."
Harvey: "There's a Secretary's Day?"
Donna: "There is. And you're very generous."

"Agents of SHIELD":


Lady Sif: "Rest easy, Philip, son of Coul."

"Pretty Little Liars":

Spencer: "I'm not going to meet him behind a dumpster to cook meth, I'm just walking next door."

Mrs. DiLaurentis: "A seafood parfait is not a finger food. No one wants to ruin a manicure digging shrimp out of a skinny cup!"

"Justified":


Boyd: "Miller, would you call this a herd, a gaggle or a flock of a**holes?"
DEA Agent Miller: "I would call this a United Nations of a**holes."

"How I Met Your Mother":

Marshall tells Lily they're moving to Italy: "It's your dream, and you're giving me mine -- again."

"True Detective":

Rust: "You're lookin' at it wrong, the sky thing. ... Once there was only dark. You ask me, the light's winning."

Photo/Video credit: NBC, ABC, ABC Family