On the Tuesday (Jan.14) episode of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show," correspondent Samantha Bee did a wildly dramatic and hilarious one-woman show based on Fox News' weekday panel discussion show "The Five."
She called it a "story of love" between former White House press secretary Dana Perino
, calling her a "a young girl, new to the big city, with big dreams and a heart so pure it makes Mary Poppins
look like a disgusting whorebag," and her fellow panelist and frequent seat-neighbor, "Red/Eye"
host Greg Gutfeld, whom Bee characterized as "a pill-popping afternoon drunk who's riddled with hepatitis."
While she was at it, Bee tossed in a segment on the panelist rival for Perino's heart, political commentator and financial expert Eric Bolling, and on villanous panelist Bob Beckel, the "Fox liberal," who just wants to expose it all.
@greggutfeld @DanaPerino Thanks for the beautiful flowers! You are the wind beneath our wings...
shot off some email questions to Perino and Gutfeld to hear their thoughts on l'affaire Bee
Q: When you first saw this, what sound did you make, what physical action did you take and whom did you need to tell first about it?
Perino:"Well, since I went to bed at 9:06 p.m. that night, I didn't see 'The Daily Show' until the morning. I check my emails in the dark before [my husband] Peter wakes up, and the first note I saw was from my sister, asking me if I had liked the piece. She's in Colorado, so I didn't have a chance to give her a light punch in the arm. I thought the piece was very cute and well done and funny. Plus, I like the fact that she finally called out that Mary Poppins for who she really is! I'm honored that they watch the show."
Gutfeld: "I shouted 'Holy S***!' Then I shouted 'Holy S***!' again. This went on for a while. Like when you sneeze a lot, and you don't stop until the magic number nine. I texted a buddy of mine. Skyped with the wife, who is out of town. I would have texted Dana, but she's in bed by 7:30 p.m. every night, and it was around 11. I had been drinking a little, so I sat on Twitter and fielded critics who disliked, or were confused by, Samantha Bee's inspirational work. I found it invigorating."
Q: Are you really as innocent as you seem on TV, or is it all a clever ruse to lull America (or just Greg) into a false sense of security?
Perino: "I gotta let Dana be Dana!"
Q: Are you really as much of a rapscallion as you seem on TV, or is it all just a clever ruse to jolt America (or just Dana) into a false sense of alarm?
Gutfeld: "The rapscallion reputation only exists because of the context. I'm on 'The Five,' on FNC. It doesn't take much to stand out as a rebel freak. In this particular world, Winnie the Pooh could come off as a Satanist. Look, I'm pushing 50. I edited three men's magazines, lived in London, and frankly, it would be disturbing if I didn't have a past. It would be considered an actual disorder -- not to be a bit seedy. I've developed a set of habits that will probably never go away. Which is a real shame for those who walk by me in the park."
For those who missed the bit, here you go: