'Dancing With the Stars' Diary: 'Guilty Pleasures' cause shame for some, 10s for others

kendra-judges-table.jpg Zap2it's weekly "'Dancing with the Stars' Diary" offers fans a backstage pass to everybody's favorite only reality competition that throws celebrities at the mercy of that fickle mistress we call dance.

Considering "Dancing With the Stars" is my guilty pleasure, this may be the most meta offering in the series' grand history of self-parody.

The remaining seven contestants were cajoled into performing to classic cheesy songs and facing judgment for their moves and bad taste -- all while Hanson performed "MMMBop" and an assortment of cringe-worthy (but perfectly executed) covers as the house band.

[Insert Scooby-Doo double take here.]

That's right, the very fabric of pop culture has unspooled into a delicious spaghetti-like orgy where anything goes.

And speaking of going, some stars are guilty of some seriously poor performances that will send someone home. Surprises, scores and backstage cast reactions all lay ahead.

We didn't see it coming:

  • Romeo's waltz, which earned the first "10" of the season wasn't itself shocking, but the superhuman progress he's made this season warrants mentioning. He seems to best his previous routines every week, and after tonight, I'm officially putting him in the dream finale.
  • As they say, if you can't beat them, shake your glittery synthetic bosom in their face. Kendra Wilkinson, perhaps succumbing to pressures for elegance, let out her inner hoochie in what will likely go down as one of the most sexed-up routines in "DWTS" history. The only thing more surprising than apparent cement-like bond between her top and her boobs was how controlled she looked while she was letting loose. (Also: Bruno, control yourself. Sexual harassment is a no-no in the workplace, even on reality TV.)
  • Woof! Two pro wipe-outs in one season... and we're only six weeks in. Karina Smirnoff's serious spill cost her and partner Ralph Macchio some serious point-age and leaving them second from the bottom.

Scores and steps:

  • The younger set have a clear advantage this week, with Chelsea Kane and Romeo both taking home the first "10s" of the season (both from Carrie Ann). They're tied at the top of the leader board with 28.
  • Hines Ward, ever the consistent performer, was just behind them at 27 -- unable to attain that coveted "10."
  • Showing a marked improvement for the first time since Week 1, Kirstie Alley performed an adequate Samba... that somehow garnered a 26 from the judges. It was good. But it wasn't that good.
  • Kendra, for example, was a lot better. Her tornado-in-a-bottle shimmy should have earned her higher marks than a 25.
  • Suffering a setback from Karina's fall -- and that bizarre getup -- Ralph's Paso Doble kept the "Karate Kid" star languishing near the bottom for another week, with a 24.
  • But nobody's failures matched Chris Jericho. The perpetually smiling wrestler sleepwalked through his Tango with partner Cheryl Burke, earning just a 22 and almost guaranteeing a position in the hot seat during the results.  

Backstage banter:

  • "This was choreographed moves," Kendra said backstage of her excessive shaking, which from her beaming smile, was likely her favorite dance of the season. "I know watching it looks like I was going out there free-styling, but it was choreographed dancing. That was the moment I've been waiting for this whole time... just getting up on that judges table and shaking my butt in front of the judges."
  • Chris Jericho wasn't surprised with his missteps or the low scores he received for them. He told press that he and Cheryl could not get into the groove during dress rehearsals. "The whole day was like that," he says. "It wasn't just one performance. Yesterday, we smoked that performance, but today... that's live TV. That's show business."
  • Another competitor who clearly wished they were judged by an earlier version of the same performance was Ralph Macchio. "If this number got '8s' across the board, for missing two eight counts and having a big stumble, this number was destined for '9s' and '10s,'" he says, careful not to fault his partner for their predicament and keeping a positive attitude going into the elimination.

So who do you think it's going to be? The scores, which have not been the safest bet for eliminations, say Chris -- but Ralph, Kirstie and Kendra all join him in being vulnerable for dismissal. I'm inclined to go with the numbers on this one.
Photo/Video credit: ABC