'Dancing With the Stars' Season 12 forecast: Looking into the crystal mirrorball
And if there's anything we love more than sound reporting, it's unfounded speculation. (It's not like we have anything else to go on before the new cast shows us their moves.)
So by following our complicated equation of star power, presumed fitness and drawing names from a hat, we've come up with an informal ranking of how the chosen 11 stack up to each other going into the season premiere. Have a look:
The presumably doomed:
The "DWTS" equivalent to the prodigal son, Romeo was set to appear in Season 2 -- when he was forced to sit out and let his dad, Master P, fill his shoes. If bad moves are genetic, he's already done. And, while we're being honest, he's fallen off the radar a bit in the 10 seasons since he was originally supposed to dance.
One of the more unusual choices for Season 12, the Steelers wide receiver isn't even retired. So right off the bat he loses the nostalgia vote. Coupled with the handicap of his recent knee surgery, we don't give him a whole lot of time.
The dark horses:
She's one of the most exciting additions to the line-up, but our instincts tells us she's either going to go all the way or embarrass herself in week one.
We know nothing about "Psycho" Mike -- other than the fact that he's a total charmball. There's no telling what he'll look like when he steps out on the ballroom floor or how viewers will react to him. That makes him the wildest of the wild cards.
Models are tricky creatures, and beauty doesn't always come with grace. Petra could fly ( Brooke Burke) or fall flat ( Paulina Porizkova). Though the show's pro population tells us to never discount a Czech.
Sugar Ray Leonard
Every season gets its sports star who goes really far -- some seasons even have two -- and our pick for Season 12 is Sugar Ray. We're betting all of that boxing has him light on his feet.
Who's not rooting for the karate kid -- at least a little bit? Macchio may fall flat on his face the moment the music starts on episode 1, but that doesn't change the fact that he's a national treasure. Daniel-son FTW.
The Disney camp received a lot of goodwill last season with the help of Kyle Massey. The runner-up's Cinderella story is still in a lot of fans' minds, and when he undoubtedly shows up to support his friend, their connection should take Chelsea a long way. Oh, and she's young, funny and cute as a button.
We were surprised by pollsters decision to put her in the most-favored spot this go round, but Kendra does seem poised to go far. She's well-liked, endearingly candid and we hear gentlemen find her very attractive. Could Louis Van Amstel finally have a winning star on his arm?
Never, ever underestimate the power of wrestling fans. Also? Never underestimate a wrestler. Jericho is physically up to the challenge and a showman in every sense of the word. "DWTS" is a logical move for him, and his jovial demeanor and handsome mug should go a long way in helping him win over a new audience.
We made this mistake of calling David Hasselhoff a frontrunner last season (oops!), but the collective curiosity over Kirstie has to be greater than that for the Hoff. There's also no way she's going to be that bad. The girl didn't stop giving them the cold should after 11 seasons if didn't feel like she was going to go all the way.
We'll see how our theories shape up during the Mar. 21 premiere, but for now, who are your favorites?