Demi Lovato talks bulimia, body issues, and cutting as 'a way of relieving pressure'
Lovato says that though she's working on recovering from her bulimia, she hasn't gotten to the point where she can bear to see her own body on screen. "It made sense to me to leave the show and focus on my music. In the studio you don't see my body, and I feel all of my confidence is in my voice," she says. "I don't know if I could handle being in front of the camera with my body right now."
Lovato, who has been looking gorgeous in recent candid photos, says that her eating disorder began when she was a child and was bullied in school for being fat. Since the beginning of her career, Lovato has frequently spoken out against bullying, but now she reveals the true damage that they did to her. She says she "stopped eating" at 12 and lost 30 pounds.
It only got worse from there.
"I was only eating a meal a day," she confesses. "When I was about 15, I was only eating two meals a week, but I wasn't losing any more weight because my body adjusted to that. So I tried new things, laxatives, fasts - nothing was working."
She began purging - intentionally throwing up her food - while working on the Disney Channel movie "Camp Rock" with the Jonas Brothers, though she says that bosses at Disney never asked her to lose weight for work. "At my worst, I was doing it five times a day. I threw up so hard and so much, it was just blood in the toilet."
Lovato was in the news when she was spotted with some scary scars on her wrists and arms. At the time, her representatives told the press that the lines on her arm were from wearing bracelets that were too tight. Now Lovato admits that she had been cutting herself with razor blades. "[It was] a way of relieving pressure when I was stressed and had anxiety."
She hope that speaking candidly about her experiences will not only help her to move past it, but help other teenagers and kids who have been suffering from the same illness.