'Desperate Housewives' recap: Dinner For Shmucks

desperate-housewives-cast.jpgSusan and Mike move back into Paul's house now that he's gone, but the other ladies are so consumed with their own dramas that they ignore her return. Eventually, in apology, they throw a progressive dinner that moves from house to house. It's awesome, because Susan is the center of both hours, but in this finale everything's just sort of happening around her, so all she has to do is look pretty. (Actually, they all do this week. It's weird.)

Renee has a bit of a breakdown upon learning that her ex is getting remarried, and immediately falls in love with the hottest cater-waiter bartender in the vicinity. There's this whole sort of amazing 30 Rock-vibe where they go through an entire relationship in the time it takes to have dinner, which is actually fun. Kind of like with Renee's magical child-repelling powers, it's the best when they just go for it.

Dumbass Bree goes to stalk Dreamy Detective Chuck Vance's soon-to-be ex, immediately blurts out the situation, and ends up costing him way more than the ex was originally going to settle for, so finally they have sex while everybody else is having salads... And then f*** their way through ruining the main course, leading to an embarrassing moment for everybody.