'Desperate Housewives' recap: The Woman That Ordered In Chinese For Christmas

desperate-housewives-cast.jpgSo Susan's been having these sex dreams about Paul. They're pretty graphic, which means a lot of sexy naked Paul and a similar amount of cooing, groaning naked Susan. So there's that. Mike's getting kidney-related blue balls waiting for Susan to remove the 2x4s nailed crosswise over her genitals, so he doesn't really pay attention to Susan's growing obsession with rescuing Paul from his depression while also trying to process the sex feelings she's having for him.

The evening of their Big Doing It, Mike discovers Susan cooking for poor old Paul, and throws a five-second s*** fit before his boner finally gets him the urgent message to shut up. For once, this stupid show actually high-fives compassion, and Susan actually ends up being the Hufflepuff superhero she always tries and fails to be. It's pretty awesome.

But just when everything is going okay for old Paul, Felicia's getting all up in Karen McCluskey's head about how they have to take revenge on Beth's behalf, including some lies and half-truths and an even more decisive fact: McCluskey was there the night Felicia cut off her own fingers to frame Paul for her murder, and decided to stay quiet while her friend's sister faked her own death. Since Paul actually did kill Martha, I don't see a problem here, but since Paul's "depression" seems clearly more like Felicia poisoning him, it's about to get real weird -- seeing Karen involved in a central mystery is more than a little unsettling, after all this time, but especially in relation to the Paul stuff.