'Dirty Sexy Money': Keeping the world safe for billionaires

Nataliezea_dirtysexymoney_240 Wedding bells are ringing on Dirty Sexy Money this week. It's Karen's date with destiny, er, Simon Elder, and it's slated to happen at The Imperial, a.k.a. the Darling manse. Talking with Nick, Tripp blames himself -- despite the fact that spying on Simon Elder was Karen's idea -- for letting her "wander into that den of iniquity." Oh brother. Ladies and gentlemen, we have entered the latest episode of Sutherland Overacting.

Trying to make you jealous with the spoilers ahead...

The Business of Marriage: Tripp, desperate to break up Karen's impending marriage to Simon, asks Nick to set up a meeting with Simon. Tripp hands Simon a blank check and tells him to fill in whatever figure he thinks is appropriate to walk away from Karen. I'm curious: Just how big a bribe do you need to give a billionaire? It stretches any credibility to think that Tripp really thinks this will work. Simon laughs, then names his terms: Darling Enterprises in exchange for Karen. Sell him controlling interest and he'll call off the wedding.

Donaldsutherland_dirtysexymoney_240 Tripp and Nick stalk out, but later, after he's had a chance to cool off, Tripp sends Nick back to Simon the next day to make the deal. Simon won't budge until the shares are transferred. "You work fast," he tells Nick, "because until this deal is done, until the company is mine, the wedding is on."

In the midst of a conversation with Karen, Simon's alerted to the fact that the shares have been transferred, and still tells Karen he can't wait to be her husband. And for a second, optimistic newlywed that I am, I thought it might happen. But after the bank gets the transaction done, Tripp and Nick proceed to start making calls to their allies and people they do business with. And Nick has to tell Karen that there will be no wedding. Talk about a gut punch. There have been a lot of inconsistencies to the way Karen has been written over the course of this show, though Natalie Zea has done a wonderful job with her -- but there's no way you can't feel the wind getting knocked out of her when Nick drops the news that Simon offered to call off the wedding in exchange for majority control of Darling Enterprises.

Blairunderwood_dirtysexymoney_240_2 After she's left at the altar, Karen goes to see Simon at his office, where he's celebrating his king-of-the-world status with his cronies. then an aide comes in with the bad news: investors and those who do business with Darling Enterprises are pulling out left and right, and the company's stock has plummeted. Simon's losing $100 million an hour. Simon snarls when he sees Karen, asking if she came to gloat and whether this was all part of daddy's plan. Karen summons her dignity and angrily tells Simon how dare he accuse her of anything -- she gave herself to him freely, he was all she wanted, and he traded her for the company. She's rightfully livid at everyone, including Nick for his role in the scenario.

Simon comes to see Tripp, who offers to buy back the company at its current market value. No way Simon's letting him make that kind of profit, so he offers to buy back half the company at a discounted rate -- making him and Simon partners.

Peterkrause_dirtysexymoney_240 The House Guest: Tripp doesn't let his plan to bust up Karen's wedding overshadow his own personal life, asking Nick to arrange a lunch with him and Wrenn so he can make googly eyes at her. Little does he know that Wrenn and Nick have a little sumpin' cookin' -- which will come back to haunt Nick. He and Wrenn meet for coffee -- apparently at his and Lisa's "place," because she throws a hissy fit when she sees them there together and spits out some nasty comment about how their marriage hasn't gotten in the way of his dating. Like she has a leg to stand on in this argument. She stalks out of the coffeehouse and immediately calls Jeremy.

But first, Letitia has to get involved. She goes to see Nick, convinced that Wrenn is a gold digger who positioned herself to ruin Letitia's marriage. Yes, that's right. Allegedly Wrenn got herself hit by Letitia's car in order to get the whole shebang. She demands that Nick do a background check, but he refuses. So Letitia informs him that Lisa is Jeremy's date to Karen's wedding. Later, Nick invites Wrenn to be his wedding date. How very junior high. Bleh. This whole make-each-other-jealous thing is so tired I'm rooting for them to break up out of spite.

Trying to get the bitter taste of the Simon meeting out of his mouth, Tripp tells Nick that they should invite Wrenn to the wedding. When Nick explains that she's his date, Tripp does that fake-a-smile-to-cover-his-evil thing, and says alright, it's for the best.

At the wedding, Wrenn does what she told Nick she would do, and makes her feelings clear to Tripp: she's interested in Nick. Tripp then goes to Letitia, admits he'd started to imagine a life with someone else, and then realized once and for all that she's the love of his life.

Jillclayburgh_dirtysexymoney_240 It all seems well and good until Letitia confronts Wrenn, accusing her of trying to ruin her marriage and throwing her out of the house -- looking like a crazed skeleton as she does it. In the midst of a conversation with Lisa about how their marriage isn't salvagable, Nick sees Wrenn leaving and goes to talk with her. Bewildered by the turn of events, she describes her encounter with Leitita -- and he encourages her to get as far away from the Darlings as possible.

But the Wrenn saga's not over yet. When Nick learns about Tripp and Simon's new deal, Tripp announces that now Nick will work for both him and Simon -- and Nick realizes that Tripp's getting his revenge over the wrenn situation. Yeah, this is going to get uglier.

Patrick's Side Show: Attended to by Nola, the fiercest chief of staff in show business, Patrick pitches an idea to build a biodiesel plant in Manhattan to business tycoon Evan O'Connell (Ken Howard). O'Connell loves the idea, but thanks to Tripp's nasty business dealings that have burned him in the past, he relishes the idea of telling Patrick to buzz off in person.

Sethgabel_dirtysexymoney_240 Meanwhile, Jeremy comes a-calling, looking for a job in a transparent attempt to be near Nola, who wants nothing to do with him. For the record, let me say that no one delivers a nasty put-down with as much panache as Lucy Liu. She's a treat.

Of course, Jeremy's a disaster in the office, and Nola demands that Patrick fire him. But he's up to something -- he goes to Webster Hall to talk to a DJ he knows -- who turns out to be O'Connell's estranged son. With Jeremy's push, father and son begin talking again, and O'Connell approaches Patrick at Karen's wedding with the good news that the deal is on. And Jeremy's job is saved.

Brian: Who Knew?: Andrea's cancer has spread, and she's not responding well to the drugs. Brian, never one to take bad news lying down, demands that she try something new. But Andrea wants to just live what time she has left as peacefully as possible.

Glennfitzgerald_dirtysexymoney_240 As he and Brian Jr. are getting ready for the wedding, Brian can't bring himself to level with the kid and tell him that what he suspects -- that his mother is dying -- is correct. It's a small, quiet, sad scene, and the chemistry between father and son is lovely.

At the wedding, after Nick stands up and has to tell the assembled throng that the marriage will not take place, Brian -- in mid-fight with Andrea about her treatment, and admitting that he needs her -- gets up and proposes. So there is a wedding after all, and it's pretty great. And Andrea starts to try to get Brian used to the idea of communicating well with his son.

What did you think? Is Tripp better at revenge than anyone this side of Henry VIII? Has Letitia gone mad? Do you think Nick and Lisa are really over? What's your guess about what will happen to Karen?