'Doctor Who' recap: The Wedding of River Song

doctor-who.jpgSo River finds a way to changed that "fixed point" in time and doesn't kill the Doctor, which results in time being royally screwed. The past, present and future end up coexisting in a world where Churchill is Holy Roman Emperor and pterodactyls overrun the park like pigeons. A bedraggled and slightly older Doctor is Churchill's imprisoned "soothsayer" and insistent that he needs to die for time to right itself. Before that can happen, Amy shows up wearing an eyepatch and takes him to the Great Pyramid of Giza. Which is also Area 52 and also her base of operations where she's amassed an army and captured a bunch of those Silence gentlemen, as well as Madame Kovarian. It's kind of a big, busy mess. Anyway, it turns out those patches are actually devices that allow people to remember the gentlemen instead of forgetting them the instant they're out of sight. Even in this weird, alternate timeline, Amy remembers the Doctor because she's Special. Rory is one of Amy's soldiers, but he doesn't remember anything from the original timeline.

River is also there in the pyramid and the Doctor is furious with her for screwing everything up. But she loves him and can't bear to be the one who kills him. She says in some stories, she's the woman who murders him and in others she's the one who marries him. The gentlemen escape, having just waited for the moment they could get a crack at the Doctor, which kind of begs the question of why they needed River to begin with. But in the end, the Doctor convinces River to let him go, and he does this by marrying her at the top of the pyramid and whispering something in her ear. We're led to believe that it's his name, but we later find out that he was really showing her the truth: He's actually piloting one of those shape-changing Tesselecta robots and the whole thing's been a massive pain in the ass.

There's a lot more, including the helpful appearance of blue Dorium's talking head, a tomb of man-eating skulls, a timey-wimey space beacon, sunspots and other confusion. Oh, and the question that the Silence were so afraid of? The one hidden in plain sight? See the show's title and stay tuned for the full weecap.