'Doomsday Castle' premiere best lines: 'You can't cross a moat without a drawbridge' and more

doomsday-castle-premiere-natgeo.jpgNatGeo premiered its new series "Doomsday Castle" Tuesday night (Aug. 13), which chronicles the end-of-days plans of Brent Sr. and his family in the Carolina mountains.

It is revealed in the opening few frames that patriarch Brent Sr. has 10 children from two different moms -- five from the first, five from the second. The kids joining him on this show are Brent II, 41, who is the only kid from family one. The other four are Ashley, 24, Lindsey, 22, and 20-year-old twins Michael and Dawn-Marie from family two.

We suspect from the official site that the other five children are Brittany, Heath, Robert, Chad and Brandon and that they will make an appearance at some point.

Anyway. As Brent Sr. and the five children who are here at the beginning work on their castle, which so far is just a series of reinforced concrete block walls with an underground bunker, here are some of the best lines:

Brent Sr.'s intro: "I am a prepper. I believe the end times are near and few will survive the chaos. I've called on my children to help me finish my life's work -- a massive fortress to protect us. I will do whatever it takes to ready my family for the coming dark ages and complete our 'Doomsday Castle.'"
 
"It doesn't mean you're crazy to prepare, if it's survival or death." -- Michael

"We need a fortification that very few people could ever storm or tear down. ... Some day this castle is gonna be under siege, by an enemy starving food and willing to do anything, so we need to make it a defendable, livable space." -- Brent Sr.

When a staged "raid" takes place: "I have 20 masked marauders, friends of mine, looking like it's the Army of Armageddon," says Brent Sr. And afterwards, Michael says, "It really put into perspective in my mind that this could happen at any time."

After the "raid" is over, which left every kid handcuffed on the ground, they get to work on building a drawbridge. Why?

Because "we're going to build a moat around the castle and you can't cross a moat without a drawbridge," says Brent Sr.

Makes sense.

But Brent Sr. taps Michael to help him and sends Brent II down to the bunker to help his sisters clean. To which Brent II says, "I'm a grown man. My dad's underestimating my capabilities and my ingenuity. I'm gonna fortify this bunker and I'm gonna show my dad how valuable I am to this family."

When Brent II builds a bunker door that seems impenetrable, he decides he needs to test the drawbridge too -- by building a battering ram out of a tractor. "I'm quality control," says Brent II.

In a nice bit of foreshadowing, Brent Sr. says of his drawbridge, "I felt that if the castle was going to be attacked, it was going to take something like a tank to take down the drawbridge and ultimately take down the castle."

Then Brent II roars up on his tractor that has two spiky logs attached and proceeds to ... nearly get run over by his own battering ram when it flips up against the drawbridge. And also, now they know the drawbridge can take a licking and keep on ticking.

What did you think of "Doomsday Castle"? A lot of ingenuity? A lot of fun? A lot of crazy? Probably some of each.
Photo/Video credit: NatGeo