'Duets' recap: Favorite standards

duets.jpgOkay, I admit that I'm just subbing in this week and this is the first time I've seen this show, but I can already tell it's the least faithful film-to-TV series adaptation ever.

The proceedings begin with Robin and Jennifer (who has either flat-ironed her hair or simply laminated it) performing a brass-laden version of "Crazy Little Thing Called Love," clearly having misunderstood what the musical director meant by "horny." There's a whole Lawrence Welk Orchestra there on the stage with them, but somehow they don't let that cut into their slinking around and acting all sexy and just generally trying too hard. "Not a bad way to kick off the show, right?" Quddus hollers over the crowd noise as he takes the stage. Which looks like the set of Stargate, if you ask me.

Quddus introduces the judges and says the results from last week are in, so one of the remaining five is going home. Quddus calls them up there and starts getting his Seacrest-Lite on, starting with Jason and telling him he's safe. He returns to Kelly's welcoming arms. When it's Olivia's turn, Quddus takes a longer pause to tell her she's in the bottom two. J. Rome, however, is safe, so he gets to go back and sit behind Jennifer. That leaves John and Bridget, and after several minutes of dead air, we find out that the other person in the bottom two is Bridget. Jennifer doesn't seem as welcoming to John for some reason. Now there's the faux-suspenseful music cue, which Quddus waits almost all the way through before announcing that the person leaving tonight is Olivia. Bridget gets to sit back down while Robin comes up to make some vaguely supportive comments leading into Olivia's farewell montage. Kim will be sorry she missed this.

After the ads, Quddus says it's time for the final four to perform "standards," which might be too narrow a category. In John Legend and Bridget's rehearsal clip, she admits that she could have been better last week. Well, there's always this week, as she just found out moments ago. This week they're doing "Unforgettable," which happens to be the song John sang at his first talent contest ever.