Election Night 2012: News anchors and pundits say the funniest (and craziest) things
Dan Rather was a veritable quote machine in his days at CBS, and as the results flowed in Tuesday (Nov. 6) in the contest between President Obama and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, he found a number of spiritual successors. Here's a collection of some of the head-scratchingest quotes from the night's news coverage (refresh the page for updates).
"The feeling that people have about Barack Obama, that he's a hero and a historic figure. ... I think we're finding that people really don't want to let go of that, a great many people." -- Fox News analyst Brit Hume on why the race figures to be so close in the face of a sluggish economy
"There are a lot of lawyers in Ohio." -- Shepard Smith , anchoring on the FOX network and explaining what might follow a very close vote
"I don't want to pile on white men. They're going to get abused enough tonight." -- ABC's George Will, talking demographics
"Both presidential campaigns know it's crunch time." -- CNN's Wolf Blitzer, just before 8 p.m. ET. Thanks for that breaking news, Wolf.
"I don't really have any thoughts on that." -- Fox News host Bill O'Reilly just after 8 p.m. ET, on the closeness of early returns in swing states
"We're just watching this raw vote come in. ... As that comes in, the percentages change, we don't know the outcome." -- NBC's David Gregory, stating the obvious
"[Speaker of the House] John Boehner has been re-elected, a stirring victory for orange Americans across the land." -- Current TV anchor John Fugelsang
"... Obama has a lot of pro-Obama votes that are still to come in." -- MSNBC correspondent John Nichols on the situation in Ohio. Probably the Obama campaign isn't too interested in the anti-Obama votes.
"Is this just math that you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better, or is this real?" -- Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly to Republican bigwig Karl Rove
"I don't want to touch it. I feel uncomfortable. What should I hit?" -- Kelly again, approaching the Fox News interactive board
"The good news for this election is, there's no agenda. Nobody ran proposing anything on either side." -- CNN commentator and Republican strategist Alex Castellanos
"That sounds kind of negative, I know -- I think I've depressed half the country. So as a psychiatrist, I will offer to write prescriptions for anyone who needs them right now." -- Charles Krauthammer on Fox News after assessing the prospects for Obama's second term
"Folks at Obama headquarters in Chicago, they're not listening to Karl. They don't care about what Karl said." -- Megyn Kelly, talking over images of cheering Obama supporters about Rove's unwillingness to concede
"I'm sure he was making vast amounts of sense ..." -- NBC anchor Brian Williams after a missed throw to Chuck Todd, who was in fact doing a stand-up for MSNBC
"If Presdent Obama were to sing any song tomorrow morning, it might be 'All the Single Ladies' by Beyonce." -- Katie Couric talks the gender gap on ABC
"My grandfather used to prognosticate by the gourds that he grew." -- ABC anchor Diane Sawyer dives deep into election projections
"This may be the last time we see two white men run against each other in a presidential election." -- Matt Dowd of ABC News. Uh, Matt?