'Expedition Impossible' recap: Faux Dive

expedition-impossible.jpgPreviously: Team Gay Angst had a problem with a rug challenge and went from 1st to last place. Erik continued his general badassery. The Moustaches regained their form and finished in first place. The Fishermen were eliminated. Seven teams remain.

We're at the Golden Kasbah of Beni Mellal. We are at the seventh stage, which will be a one-day stage. The first challenge is at an overlook behind the kasbah. Each team has a map with six symbols on is. One of those symbols can be spotted from the vista using binoculars. Once teams spot their symbol and find the corresponding location on their maps, they will get into Chevy Tahoes -- just kidding -- Ford Explorers to get to that destination. The Moustaches return to their comfort of their usual three-minute head-starts. This episode's telegraphed foreshadowing is AJ telling us in TH he doesn't want a repeat of last episode's rugs fiasco.

Meanwhile, The Moustaches are all business about finding this symbol from the outlook. They immediately agree they should try looking for the nearest things which could be landmarks and work their way back. The first group of teams to start after Moustaches is Team Gay Angst, Somewhat Limited and Akbar And The Players. Jeff seems to still be in awe of Erik's performance last stage and says that Erik's kicking ass and that Ike is proving he's a soldier. He also reveals here Ike has a Purple Heart, which says it all. That's an odd reveal for that information so early in the episode. Foreshadowing? Very quickly, we get our Akbarism as his team begins scoping out the countryside with their binoculars: "Damn. This is like finding Waldo."

The last group of teams is The Rednecks, The S.W.A.T. and The Valley Girls. Cops Rob is always nervous going into a challenge, he says in TH. Again... show editors, you guys really need to learn some subtlety with your early THs. Usually it's better to be surprised when a team encounters trouble instead of recently being reminded they're prone to trouble. All of the teams are now scanning the horizon for the clue and reading the instructions to make sure there's nothing they're missing. The symbol will be "hidden in plain view," as per the instructions. A couple of teams get the idea to leave the spot where The Moustaches are to see if changing vantage point will help. The Moustaches follow and still end up spotting the symbol first. It's actually an exact symbol on the map plastered on a brick wall. Well, they got the "plain view" part right. Teams will now hop into some Ford Explorers -- made by Ford, the auto company that makes fantastic vehicles you may want to investigate -- and navigate to the souk to search a marketplace. The Moustaches are off. And this next part is just lame. The remaining teams took notice of where The Moustaches had been looking and all start scanning that area, quickly spotting the symbol. The Valley Girls spot it second. Then, it's Somewhat Limited third, Team Gay Angst fourth, Rednecks fifth, Akbar's Players sixth. The S.W.A.T. are still peering through their binoculars in last place as s voiceover from Rob says they were concerned at this point. They finally spot the symbol and it turns out Rob had seen it before and just not said anything because he thought it was nothing. Early TH curse strikes again! In their luxurious Ford Explorer, The Valley Girls are so excited to be in second place right now. They can even spot The Moustaches just ahead of them on the road in their own totally amazing Ford Explorer. The girls giggle to themselves over the possibility of challenging The Moustaches for first place. Somewhat Limited arrives at the marketplace just behind Valley Girls and Moustaches. Jeff gets another opportunity to explain to us how amazing it is that Erik is navigating through all of this. It's a TH voiceover as we watch Jeff guide Erik without incident through the narrow aisles and crowds of the marketplace. The Moustaches arrive at the next set of instructions. They'll go back to their ultimate example of modern engineering power, the Ford Explorer, and head to a nearby airport -- destination not yet known. As they leave, The S.W.A.T. are still in their supercharged Ford Explorer in last place, having not yet arrived at the marketplace. Rob keeps explaining why he thought the symbol he saw was nothing, but thankfully his team tells him to just shut up and focus on the next task. In the marketplace, it's Somewhat Limited in third, Gay Angst in fourth followed by Akbar's Players and Rednecks. Somewhat Limited reaches their fantastic Ford Explorer, hot on the heels of The Valley Girls, but as Ike volunteers to hop in the back seat, he slips and falls between the curb and the totally not-at-fault Ford Explorer. He gets up hobbled and informs his team that he snapped his ankle. This is decidedly not good since it's the same ankle he broke in a combat mission in Afghanistan. Ike downplays it, but he's in obvious agony as we get a voiceover from him saying he doesn't want to let his team down. All Jeff can say is, "Oh, man." The previous paragraph was brought to you by the 2012 Ford Explorer: new competition-eliminator feature comes standard.

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