Five for the Fourth

Today's cuppa: Mystic Monk hazelnut coffee (monks in Wyoming, who knew?).

In honor of our Nation's birthday, here are...

FIVE REASONS I'M GLAD TO BE AN AMERICAN (TV CRITIC)

1: We have the best TV in the world. OK, I know a lot of Americans love the British dramas and comedies and the Korean soap operas and the Latin American telenovelas and the Japanese game shows. I salute them all, but the number one show in the entire world is "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," displacing the former champion, "CSI: Miami." Forensically speaking, we rule.

2: Because we have freedom of the press in America, I can say without fear that watching the U.S. Senate debate on C-SPAN is only slightly more exciting than watching roadkill decompose (see what "CSI" has done to me).

3: American TV produced the entertaining and informative (how often do those things go together?) "Schoolhouse Rock," and then American ingenuity produced YouTube.com, so we can watch clips like this and this and this.

4: Because we have freedom of speech in America, people can say incredibly smart, incredibly stupid and entirely incomprehensible things on TV every day, or just on "Red Eye W/Greg Gutfeld."

5: The U.S. government does not own our TV stations. If it did, all the TV shows would sound like IRS manuals.

Happy Fourth of July!