'Glee' recap: Alas, Nobody Fell Off The Verrazano

MercedesGlee.jpgAs graduation now looms for a still-confusing number of Glee Clubbers, Will takes it upon himself to start worrying about the future for Frankenteen, Mercedes, and Santana Lopez, none of whom has committed to an acceptable post-high school plan as of yet. Following the sage advice of the freshly-helpful Sue, and with the knowledge that this year's Nationals features a "Vintage" theme, Mr. Schue announces "The First Annual McKinley High Saturday Night Fever Dance Contest." The competition -- whose winner will receive a replica of the iconic white suit Travolta wore, as painstakingly hand-crafted by Miss Becky Jackson -- is officially meant to get the children used to performing songs that have been around for longer than two weeks, even though they used to do **** like that all the time. However, the contest's actual goal is to force Frankenteen, Mercedes, and Santana Lopez to confess their hopes and dreams to their peers through the magic of Disco, like that's really gonna help anyone.

Naturally, complications ensue, as Frankenteen's still wrapped up in all that tiresome marriage bull**** with Idiot Rachel, and Mercedes feels she might not have what it takes to make it in the music business and Santana craves nothing more from life than a celebutard level of fame. But eventually, and with the help of various friends and romantic partners, they all agree to settle themselves down and go to college. Even though Dumbass Finn thinks he's going to matriculate at The Actors Studio, which isn't a school, but whatever. Everybody ends up happy, which I suppose is the only thing that matters.

With the main bulk of the episode divided pretty much evenly amongst those three, there's little room left for other developments, though Glee does somehow manage to mash some in anyway. Puck's already drawn up a business plan for his "Noah's Ark Pool Cleaning Service" out in Los Angeles, St. Gay Of Lima and Mercedes find themselves mentoring a transgendered teen -- yes, you read that right -- from their archrivals over at Carmel High, and somehow, when nobody was looking, Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen became the hottest guy on this show. Go figure.