'Glee' recap: Like A Big Stick Of Buttah
The evening opens with Mr. Schue hiring Jesse St. James -- swoon! -- as the Glee Club's "show choir consultant" to help the kiddies prepare for their impending performance at Nationals. First on Jesse's agenda is selecting the primary soloist around whom the rest of the gang's routine will be built, because that's how they do it over at Carmel, and to that end, he convinces Mr. Schue to hold auditions. Santana Lopez, Kurt, Mercedes, and Rachel are the only four children to sign up, and the middle section of this evening's installment is devoted to more-or-less full-length versions of the songs they've chosen to dazzle Mr. St. James. And while Santana Lopez definitely gives Miss Berry a run for her money, Rachel's so obviously the best of the four, the whole thing's not even funny. Well, except for just about every nasty, evil, unctuous, smarmy, hysterical line from Jesse St. James's mouth, but those are best left for the recap proper.
Of course, Dumbass Mr. Schue then decides to throw the results out because the children perform best when they're not competing with each other, or some such b*******, and on top of that bit of stupidity, he announces they'll be presenting original songs at next week's big competition -- original songs they're apparently meant to compose, arrange, orchestrate, costume, choreograph, rehearse, and perfect whilst lounging in their first-class seats on the American Airlines flight from Allen County Regional Airport to JFK, because of course. Of course.