'Gossip Girl' recap: "That's The Country Code For Portugal!"
The encoded contents of Diana's Little Red Daybook are proving difficult for old Nate and Chuck to decipher, but a Nate brainwave -- "You need ex-CIA, or a serial killer" -- brings Blair into the mix. She's more than happy to help, since Dan's got her on the road to recovering herself and is in turn off musing about spending a literary summer in Rome. One fake massage from Dorota later, and they've figured out that the codes in Diana's book represent different international travel destinations in one of the most hilariously bizarre scenes we've had in a long time.
Diana gives both Nate and Serena the phone number for the real Gossip Girl, which because of the other eight things going on means everybody is invited to Diana's secret meeting -- which is at the same roving Eyes Wide Shut tattoo sex club from years past! No Carter Baizen, BOO!, but we learn Diana's old persona: India (anagrams!), the madam of the whole operation.