'Greatest American Dog' becomes 'America's Next Top Dog Model'

Teresa_leroy_gad_240 First of all, I apologize for the tardiness of this recap! I didn't realize that Greatest American Dog had aired one night early until I was headed out the door for work this morning. So for just this week, let's pretend it's still airing on Thursday nights. Cool? Cool. Tonight's all about personality, and we begin with some owners showing their personalities as Travis and Laura flirt adorably and Brandy makes an ass out of her jealous self. Sigh. (Spoilers ahead...)

Dog Bone Challenge: "Take it or Leave it," a sort of Newlywed Game in which owners must guess whether their dogs will take or leave several different objects. Preston and Galaxy are the final two dogs, and J.D. takes the day by guessing that Galaxy will take the tofu (yum!). He sends Travis to the Dog House, which still doesn't look that bad to me.

You guys, this show totally makes me want a bulldog. Watching Tillman paddle around in the pool with his little life jacket on was magical. And watching him drink and throw up water and fart in the pool was surprisingly hysterical (apparently I'm eight years old). And we already know he can rock a skateboard. What can't he do?

Best in Show Challenge: Photo shoot! Man, my experience recapping America's Next Top Model is going to come in totally handy here. Smile with your eyes, dogs! Be fierce! They'll be trying to match a randomly drawn personality trait in the photo.

J.D./Galaxy: "Sneaky." J.D. gets some props ready in advance to set up an outdoor-like area for Galaxy to sneak through, and it's perfect. The photo has the body language down, and the judges love it.

Bill/Star: "Stubborn." It's a tough word, and Bill doesn't feel like he's creative enough to pull it off. Poor Star senses his nerves and has trouble performing, and his idea of her holding a leash just isn't that interesting. As their comfort level increases, the shoot goes more smoothly and Bill really enjoys himself. Aww. The picture of her refusing to budge as a leash pulls on her turns out great, the judges love it, and Bill's joy is palpable.

Bethjoy_bellastarlet_gad_240 Beth Joy/Bella Starlet: "Mischievous." Okay, I'm no Beth Joy fan, but this shoot is so cute it makes me want to dognap Bella Starlet. She's next to a spilled jar of dog treats, doing a very convincing "Who, me?" These girls are definitely in their element. The final photo, of Bella licking around her mouth, is outstanding and the judges love it.

Teresa/Leroy: "Angry." Teresa is worried, because Leroy always looks happy. Thus, she goes about doing things to make him angry. When she goes to stick a hose blowing air in his face, he's had enough and nips her on the hand (rightfully so). Laura, the generous soul that she is (too generous, if you ask me), shows Teresa how to use "snarl bands" to make him look mad. Ooh, Laura, I'm not sure I'm down with that.

At the shoot, Leroy gets scared by the camera and the water/grapefruit juice Teresa's spraying at him, but she pushes him off her and makes him continue, using the snarl bands, which he clearly hates. BOOOOOOOOOO. The photographer doesn't look happy. Though the final photo is very effective, the judges hate that she used snarl bands. Teresa lies and says he doesn't mind them, but the judges are pissed. Laura looks visibly guilty, but Teresa doesn't sell her out.

Laurie/Andrew: "Curious." Laurie uses a telescope and a book as props, and it seems a little too gimmicky to me. The judges love it, though. Sigh.

Travis/Presley: "Joyous." Travis has Presley jump up in the air a lot, and gets some great shots. Presley really does look happy in the picture, but the judges are mixed on the photo, with some feeling it's too generic.

Brandy/Beacon: "Loving." Beacon isn't feeling the love and won't cooperate, and Brandy starts crying. The photo is just a picture of Beacon looking up in front of a white background, and the judges are split 2-1. I'm with the haters, personally--I'd have no idea what it was trying to portray if you didn't tell me first.

Laura_preston_gad_240 Laura/Preston: "Regal." Laura gives Preston a haircut so that only his feet and tail and head are poofy, and he looks super cute. And regal. Like the tiny, poofy king of Cutesylvania. The final photo looks a bit more quizzical than regal because his head is tilted, unfortunately, and the judges aren't digging it.

Ron/Tillman: "Lazy." Because Tillman already does a pretty good "lazy," Ron chooses to keep it natural and not to prepare. At first, Tillman's a little antsy, but he quickly manages to capture the mood while lying on couches and chairs. The final photo is pretty basic (and not nearly as lazy as Tillman can be), and the judges think it's boring AND a bad photo.

In the green room, Brandy is talking about things she would have done differently with her photo when Travis tries to reply with something he would have done with his. Brandy snaps back, "Can we focus on me?" Wow. To his credit, Travis immediately comes back with "Yeah, let's do. It might be the last time you're here." Snap!

I kind of wish they would show some of the judges' deliberations so that we had a better understanding of what they think is important behind the scenes. I also thought they should have used the photographer as a special guest judge, since she really saw how the dogs and trainers interacted. Ah, well. "Best in Show" goes deservedly to J.D. and Galaxy, whose photo will appear in Dog Fancy. The bottom three are Ron/Tillman, Teresa/Leroy, and Brandy/Beacon.

Ron_tillman_gad_240 Ron and Tillman are out, which totally sucks. I mean, they obviously aren't the best, but Teresa abused her dog to the point of his biting her this week, and then just kept on going. Forget the snarl bands and the air hose--she sprayed him in the face with acidic water and then shoved him away when he got scared. AWFUL. Fare thee well, Tillman. I hope to see your skateboarding and farting antics on a CBS sitcom sometime soon, perhaps as a lead in to Two and a Half Men. I'd totally watch it. 

What did you think of Teresa's behavior, and Laura's use of snarl bands? Do you think Tillman was the right choice to go home?