'Harper's Island': Splash

Cameronrichardson_harpersisland_290 Tonight's episode of "Harper's Island" is a total bloodbath. And should've been titled "Sniffle," as far as I'm concerned.

I'm getting awfully sick of the editing/time on this show. One shot Trish is leaving the Sheriff's house, the next she's finding Henry in the church graveyard. One minute it's night time at the church, next minute it's day time. Good grief.

London Bridge (summary)
Wakefield goes on a rampage. Other than some suspicious Jimmy stuff, it's pretty much just a Wakefield killing spree. They return to the tunnels, there's a creepy bridge and it's all very emotional. Oh, and the sailboat is gone and nobody on the mainland is going to realize they haven't heard from anyone on the island for awhile, though you'd think all the people who left on the boat (when Madison was kidnapped) would, like, alert someone.

Under the Bridge (key players tonight)
Wakefield is the killer, which we basically already knew. There was always the chance it was some kind of "trying to stop the killings" twist and it wasn't Wakefield, but tonight's episode dispelled that theory. Also, turns out Wakefield is Madison's "new friend." He even helped her pick flowers. Creepy.

Take it to the Bridge (who died)
Nikki (meh), Shane (awww), and Cal & Chloe (sob).

Bridge Over Troubled Water (how they died)
Nikki, Shane and Cal were all stabbed with Wakefield's big ol' knife thingy. Chloe goes all Juliet and jumps off the bridge after her man.  Now, there is a chance that Chloe survived the fall, but I doubt it.

As soon as Cal asked Chloe to marry him, I figured they were toast and I cried for the next couple minutes. However, why on EARTH did they run across the bridge when Cal knew the gate was locked? They could've run right past it and into the woods. Sure, Wakefield probably would've caught them but it's not certain death like the bridge. I mean, maybe that stupid move gives us the argument that killing C & C was just weeding out some idiots from the gene pool.

We'll Burn That Bridge (gruesome scale)
It's pretty gruesome, especially Cal.  8 out of 10.

Love Can Build a Bridge (I hope you die next)
I was going to go out on a limb and say Wakefield, but I've changed my mind. I know it'll never happen, but I hope Wakefield gets ahold of that little lying brat Madison and effs her up. I don't care if she's a little girl. Slice n dice. When her mom was reassuring her that it's not her fault if Abby dies, I snorted, "Yes it is, you lying little liar."

I have to say, Shane totally redeemed himself this episode. I actually cried a little over the way he sacrificed himself so the girls could escape. It was very brave.

59th Street Bridge Song (favorite lines)
Cal: I just wanna get Chloe off this island.
Sully: I just wanna get Chloe.

Trish: Abby, I'm so sorry about your dad. I was so wrong.
Abby: It's okay. I was too.

Chloe: You can't have me.

Water Under the Bridge (best scare)
When Danny leaned towards the door with the shotgun holes in it, I had to cover my eyes because I was just sure he was going to get the big ol' knife thingy to the face. It was also totally creepy when Wakefield leaned on the bridge rail and looked at Abby and Henry at the end.

Across the Bridge Where Angels Dwell (lead suspects)
Well, I think the Jimmy thing could go either way. I don't trust these writers like I do for, say, Battlestar Galactica or Veronica Mars or Lost, which means the Jimmy stuff could be exactly what it seems and he's helping Wakefield, or it could all be a red herring  to set us up for a big twist in the finale. I think it's pretty obvious, though, that Wakefield has help.

Bridge Scene (weekly death roster)
Cousin Ben: this was no boating accident
Uncle Marty: bridge to tear-in-halfia
Reverend Fain: someone should've given him a heads up
Kelly Seaver: you hang in there, buddy
Lucy Daramour: what a little firecracker!
Hunter Jennings: he lost the face-off
Joel Booth: he's got a leg up
Thomas Wellington: what a splitting headache
Richard Allen: you give love a bad name

Malcolm Ross: that money is burning a hole in his pocket
Deputy: nice red shirt you have on
Radio: on the fritz
Cole Harkin: I suspect Geena Davis
JD Dunn: if you hang up on me, I'll gut you like a fish
Beth Barrington: tunnel vision
Katherine Wellington: does the gardener have an alibi?

Male Cop: I pirefer "murder of crows" myself
Female Cop: not too excited to investigate anymore, are ya?
Maggie: this has nothing to do with m--snap
Sheriff Mills: all the theories about him as killer flew right out the window

Nikki: now you can stop being pointless
Shane: he died a hero's death
Deputy: for whom the bell tolls
Cal: Running Bear loves...
Chloe: Little White Dove

I'm still thinking Abby could be Wakefield's daughter. The way Sheriff Mills said "you're my daughter" was more like "I'm the man who raised you, dammit, I'm your real father" than it was "I'm your biological father."