Heidi Montag's 10 superficial surgeries only net 658 'Superficial' sales

heidi-montag-surgery-after.jpg"Thriller," it ain't.

Heidi Montag's debut album "Superficial" sold a whopping 658 copes in its first week, according to the Nielsen Soundscan numbers. (That's not a typo, we're not missing a "0." It's six hundred fifty eight.)

To put that in perspective, here's a list of people who have had higher first-week album sales: Yanni, Weird Al Yankovich, Ashlee Simpson, Color Me Badd, La Toya Jackson, Gerardo ("Rico Suave"), Right Said Fred, Uncle Kracker and Kenny G.

Hmmm.

What were you saying about "Superficial" being able to hold its own against something like "Thriller," you delusional Barbie-monster?

Just in case anyone needs to be reminded of how "talented" Ms. Montag is, let's revisit her performance from the Miss Universe Pageant or  listen to single "Superficial."