'Hell's Kitchen' recap: Clemenza Clemency

gordon-ramsay-hells-kitchen.jpgWe're in the throes of fashion night. Models are getting dressed and made up, while the Red and Blue Teams are getting ready for service.

And, oh yeah, Clemenza is cooking FOUR PORTIONS OF SCALLOPS without dinner service having even started yet.

Everyone up to speed? Good. The fashion show starts, with the women walking down the catwalk and the Blue Team in particular struggling to not immediately have sex with all of them, because that's how manly they are. In the Red kitchen, Dana is staring at the models while also telling us that she doesn't want the models looking at the chefs. It's cute that she thinks the models have any idea the chefs exist. We only briefly get a hint of Dana's insecurity issues before we whisk over to Tiffany, who figures if she lost nine thousand pounds and didn't eat, she could be a model too.

But she should try being a cook first. She's arguing with Barbie over how to cook scallops, and Tiffany does it her way (resulting in a lot of yelling as well as raw scallops).

In Blue, Justin and Roshni are on appetizers and Clemenza's on fish, and they get their orders out great, but there's trouble brewing as Clemenza suddenly needs to get sixteen scallop orders down. It's like he's the boat and the scallops are the wave in the movie poster for The Perfect Storm.