'Hell's Kitchen' recap: Contend It Like Beckham

gordon-ramsay-hells-kitchen.jpgRamsay bids the teams goodnight, while Christina cheers the departure of Robyn for the Blue Team. The remaining Red Team members smoke and toast Robyn's removal, while Robyn is excited to be on a team where the members don't "walk in with their periods" and get all catty. Holy ****, she's hateful. And it's clear that Red's enthusiasm for losing Robyn is not reciprocating by Blue for gaining her. Their attitude is best summed up as "I hope this doesn't cause problems." Robyn tells Blue that she's not a backstabber, but if it's the kind of thing you need to tell someone? That's a problem.

The next morning, Chef Ramsay greets them with a craps table in the dining room, but it's the kind of craps you play with a special die with letters on each of its twelve sides, and you have to choose an ingredient starting with the letter you roll and come up with "one stunning dish." Kimmie says she's never played craps for ingredients and I hate to point out that this is not craps but THIS IS NOT CRAPS.

Clemenza rolls. He gets an H, and he chooses heirloom tomatoes. Justin rolls a D: he seems to freeze, trying to think of something that starts with D, and finally spits out "daikon." Robyn, in her new blue duds, also rolls a D. But daikon's already taken, so she comes up with "dragonfruit," despite Brian trying to mind-meld with her so she'll choose a protein. "Holy crap," says Ramsay. Brian rolls an E, and now he realizes how your mind goes blank when you're the one standing there. Finally he says "edamame," and Ramsay feels the need to remind them he's not opening a vegetarian restaurant. Shoulda said "eagle"! So it's up to Royce to come up with a protein. He rolls a C, and takes a little while to think of chicken, but Blue is quite relieved. "That's probably the worst lineup of ingredients I've ever seen. What a bunch of ****ing idiots," Tiffany tells us.