'Hell's Kitchen' recap: You Say Potato, I Say Egg Yolk?

gordon-ramsay-hells-kitchen.jpgI'm covering for the expert Daniel this week. Unlike Daniel, I still find watching the pinball title sequence much like those dreams where I'm at school in my underwear. This ridiculous spectacle embarrasses me. I mean, why? I have clothes. Why aren't I wearing them? Seriously, these people have to scream and fall down and act like pinballs are chasing them and THEY ARE CHEFS. It's like asking people on Project Runway to play baseball. That said, I never skip them either. It's like I'm a cutter or something.

Last we met, Jamie got sent home for burning the zucchini. Even though the Red Team had nominated Carrie and Elise, because they ruin everything. I don't get it. Wait, I do. Carrie and Elise make really great TV. Chefs? Let's just say, BLT Steak is in trouble. Unless they both win and have to work together, in which case, birthday party location.

Chef Ramsay sends the contestants to bed. Carrie talks all sort of sh-- in an interview about how badly she wants this and how she's going to win this now, even though she has never been different for even one tiny moment of this entire competition. Jesus Christ, that girl has zero capacity for learning. Jennifer is apoplectic. Elise and Elizabeth agree with her, but she's not listening. She says that she's working with the Three Stooges now and she's pretty correct.