'How I Met Your Mother' recap: Dodging Bullets with Ted and Robin
Credits. Robin and Ted talk about how they need to talk about what's going on between them. But before they can have that substantive conversation, Robin's annoying co-worker Patrice shows up to remind her that she's traveling to Russia that day to cover an annual butter festival. Robin says that the flight is leaving at 9 PM, but Patrice corrects her, saying that the itinerary says 9 AM, as does her ticket, as does their boss in the car downstairs. One hurried packing session later, Robin is off for a weeklong trip to Russia and she and Ted promise to continue "this" when she gets back. Desperate for some bro talk, Ted calls up Marshall and demands that he make the trip in from Long Island to meet him in the bar downstairs... which apparently opens at 9 AM. And to think that we used to find this show's depiction of New York City somewhat authentic.
Because he's whipped, Marshall immediately heads out, leaving Lily in bed with Barney, who slept off his night on the Drunk Train alongside them. The usual jokes about Barney really, really, really wanting to sleep with Lily ensue, with the added wrinkle of Lily mentioning something about a sex tape that he shouldn't watch. Actually, she says it doesn't exist at all, but he only hears the words "sex tape" and promptly calls over his regular housekeeping team to turn the place upside down looking for it. He doesn't find a tape, but he does stumble across a tin box labeled "Long Term Bets", which contains little scraps of paper listing some of the wagers that Lily and Marshall have made over the years. Bets like "Lily bets Marshall that Barney will die by murder" and "Marshall bets Lily that if Ted goes bald, he'll totally pull it off." (You've lost that bet, Marsh.) And then he hits the most relevant (for the purposes of this episode) bet: "Lily bets Marshall that Ted and Robin won't end up together."