'I'm a Celebrity': why is Myleene dressed like a hooker?

Myleeneklass_imacelebritygetmeoutofhere_290 Tonight on "I'm a Celebrity," it turns out the voting is pretty close and that Myleene Klass forgot to put on her dress.

We join the celebs with Janice saying that John is selfish for not picking someone else to have immunity. Patti joins in a little with the "selfish" talk, but I don't think it's selfish at all. It's not like it's life-or-death, it's a stupid game show. I'd choose myself too.

John as Camp Leader Montage. He washes dishes, he cooks the food and he seems to be a pretty good leader. There's a weird part where John Salley wakes up Janice by saying, "Get your sexy ass up" and she interviews that he said, "Get your ass up!" It seems to me that he was nice and called her sexy. That's a decent way to wake up, in my opinion.

There is then Janice's Salvation Montage, where she had a dream about losing hair to someone with a razor and running to the river for safety. Stephen jumps on this as a Jesus metaphor and starts trying to save her and invokes some 12-step stuff. It's... I don't know. If it's for real and she's changing her general lifestyle, then that's amazing, but I am dubious because it's a reality show, ya know?

Torrie is Homesick Montage. This kind of mystifies me because she's so upset about not talking to her family for a couple weeks but I've gone for weeks without talking to my family. It's not because I don't love them, it's just because I was off on some adventure (London, camp, what have you) and didn't call them. Suck it up, Torrie.

Artistic Montage. The celebs get art supplies to draw a self-portrait. Huh. Everybody does some really cool sketches, it is much more talented and introspective than I thought it would be.

Putting the Fun in Dysfunctional Family Montage. Lou is the dad, Patti's the mom, John is the cool Uncle and Janice is the crazy aunt, Stephen's the brat, and Torrie, Sanjaya and Holly are the kids. Torrie is hilarious saying that Janice is the crazy aunt that you have to like because you're family. Heh heh.

Food Trial Time. Janice goes bat-crap saying that she should compete, so it's Janice and Patti versus John and Stephen. The challenge is called "Spider's Web." The harnassed teammates have to race around a rope spider's net to grab star flags. The guys team does it in just over 2 minutes, while the women take 4 minutes. The girls did well but just not good enough.

The guys are a little gloaty about it, particularly Stephen Baldwin. Janice is bitching about the trial being unfair because of how strong the guys are and that's actually fair. I mean, it really favored the team with more strength, but she is being quite the drama queen about it.

John + Patti = BFF Montage. John takes offense that he can't have a platonic friendship with Patti, which I agree with. It's the Harry Met Sally conundrum. I think a guy and a girl can totally be friends. Stephen thinks it is plotting on Patti's part. John advises Patti not to be the girl who is desperate for attention, like Torrie or Janice. Hmmm.

That night, Sanjaya tries to be chef for the women since the guys are getting Chinese takeout but John takes umbrage with his use of garlic. It's kinda funny because I mean... who cares? And why does John have to act like he's the only person in camp who can cook?

Um, has anyone noticed Host Myleene's outfit tonight? It's like she's wearing a salmon-colored teddy with a belt and boots. It's terrifying.

The Live Portion of the show tonight entails the hosts telling the celebs how the public voting is going. Apparently, the voting is very close. Last week the Bottom 5 were seperated by less than 3% of the vote and the Bottom 2 were separated by less than 1% of the vote. As of this morning, Janice is not in the Top 2, Patti was not in the Bottom 2. Oh, that tells us a lot. Bah. What a waste of a few minutes.