Whether you're counting down the days to "Fifty Shades of Grey" or planning your protest signs in anticipation of the big screen debut of the best selling novel, everyone knows that the erotic thriller will be the biggest movie of Valentine's Day 2015.
Will it be worthy of an Oscar though? Screenwriter Kelly Marcel is predicting a golden statue for "Grey" leading man (and former
"Once Upon a Time"
star) Jamie Dornan. Marcel had nothing but praise for the Irish actor when she sat down with Reza Aslan for a session of Aslan's "Writer's Room" series.
"Apparently Jamie is great at being hard and soft at the same time," Marcel says, using phrasing directly from the book, "which is hard for an actor to do!" The screenwriter goes on to add, "He's going to get an Oscar!"
In light of Marcel's claims, and her admission that the "Christian popsicle" line
in the film,
started to consider what potential scenes from the novel could lead to Academy Award winning screen time. While the source material is remiss of historically Oscar worthy scenes -- like Meryl Strep choosing which of her children should die in "Sophie's Choice" or Daniel Day Lewis defending the Emancipation Proclamation in "Lincoln -- there are a few scenes we can only hope Marcel is referring to -- for amusement purposes of course.
Warning: If you are uncomfortable with the material in the "Fifty Shades of Grey" novels, this list is not going to make you feel any better about it.
The first 'love making' encounter
There is a 100 percent chance some version of Christian and Ana's first sex scene will be in the movie, but will it also be the first time Christian shows her the oxblood color leather clad playroom? Will it be the first time Ana sees the word "nipple clamps" written in black and white ink? Most importantly, when Ana asks if Christian will be making love to her that evening will Jamie Dornan shoot her an inhibition melting smolder before he replies, "I don't make love. I f*** ... hard"?
The spanking scene
The Academy is no stranger to rewarding bad boys. Denzel Washington won his Oscar for playing the bad guy in "Training Day." Michael Fassbender was nominated for playing an unspeakably evil slave overseer in "12 Years a Slave." Perhaps Dornan will earn his Oscar nod when Christian spanks Ana for the first time, for simply
rolling her eyes.
We actually agree that Dornan will deserve some sort of award if he can get through Christian saying "Feel this. See how much your body likes this Anastasia," with a straight face.
The tampon scene
This will not be for soft stomachs. The famed "running the red light" scene has mixed fan reactions to say the least. However, Jared Leto most recently won Best Supporting Actor for playing a transgender AIDS patient in "Dallas Buyers Club". Perhaps Hollywood can open its mind even more for a sexually deviant billionaire who seems to care very little for personal space or hygiene. OK, that's a stretch even for us.
The reveal of Christian's inner wound
To have a chance at an Oscar, a character has to have emotional depth. For Christian Grey, that would be revealing to his one true love (or more accurately -- abuse victim) the story of his birth mother. She was an addict who succumbed to her disease, leaving her four year old child behind in neglect. If told correctly, that actually is an Oscar-bait worthy storyline, but Dornan will have to win his way onto the Kodak Theater stage with poetic lines like, "I am the product of a crack whore," and -- well, actually that's pretty much it.
The 'Will they? Won't they?' finale
Dornan may not have much to work with beyond what's mentioned above when it comes to his character's backstory, but there's plenty to say when Ana sees the full extent of his "darkness" and has to decide if she's staying or going. Shakespearean-esque lines such as, "You can't love me Ana, no ... that's wrong," and "Are you really trying to wound me?" are just the thing to win Dornan a Best Actor trophy. I mean, who needs Tom Hanks crying over Jenny's grave in "Forrest Gump" when you have this?
Unfortunately, even with all of this brilliant material to work with, "Fifty Shades of Grey" hits theaters on Valentine's Day 2015 -- a solid two months after the 2015 Academy Award nomination period ends. Shame. However, if Dornan isn't able to grab a nod for the first film, there's always the butt-plug sequence in the sequel to impress the Academy voters.
Note: Despite the sarcasm in this post about "Fifty Shades of Grey" as a novel and movie, those who are truly curious about Jamie Dornan's acting ability should see him in the BBC2 series "The Fall" (available on Netflix). It's definitely worth it.