Jeff Goldblum's Reddit AMA is the most Jeff Goldblum thing ever

jeff-goldblum-reddit-ama-gi.jpgJeff Goldblum is a national treasure, and the actor's recent Reddit AMA session is just further proof of that fact.

In support of his new films "The Grand Budapest Hotel" and "Le Weekend," the frequent "Portlandia" guest star opened the floor to a variety of questions on Thursday (March 20) -- touching on his seminal work in "Jurassic Park," whether he'd return to "The League" and his life's sandwich history.

And yes, every answer was written, uh, exactly as you'd expect Jeff Goldblum to verbalize it. It is, in a word, perfect.

Can you tell us something about yourself that we may find surprising?
Hahaha. Surprising. Hmmmm.
I've never had a cavity or a filling.
See? You're surprised.

What is your favorite dinosaur? I have you pegged for a stegosaurus man.
I'm no expert but since childhood I've had a fondness for the triceratops, because I read a kid's book about a kid who finds an egg in his backyard, and it's a triceratops, and he rides it. Remember that book? That's the one! And then they take him to Washington. Boy, you're into dinosaurs, you really know them.

Mr. Goldblum, if you could splice your DNA with another organism, what would you choose and what would be your name?
Hahahaha. Let's see. Off the top of my head, I'd splice myself with a dolphin, and my name would be Surf Goldblum.

What is the best advice ever given to you?
Ooooh.

Gee. The best advice ever given...to me... Let's see. Oh boy. This is a good one. The best advice ever given to me is fill your days with what you love doing. Also, you know, contribute as substantially as you can to the community, and, uh, something the opposite of what the opposite of what the character does in Wolf of Wall Street. Do something worthwhile and substantial, not with any sales technique or baloney on top of it, and give as much as you can. The opposite of the Wolf of Wall street, but I don't know how to put that into a pithy piece of advice. And also, put down your device, whatever it is, when you cross the street. Stop, look, and listen. Both equally important.

What's your favorite kind of sandwich?
Oooooooooh. SANDWICH. OH MY GOSH.

Oh my gosh.

I love sandwiches.

When I was a kid, every day I had a bacon lettuce tomato sandwich. Then at some point I switched to tuna fish sandwiches. Then turkey and swiss with russian dressing. Now I try to stay in the healthier vein, but I love every moment of my sandwich life.

What does Conan O'Brien smell like? I get the feeling that you intimately know this answer off the top of your head.
Hahaha. Uh, a field of wildflowers. And that's just his head.

Very excited to see The Grand Budapest Hotel. Do you enjoy working on projects more like this film, or big action movies like Jurassic Park or Independence Day?
Oh boy, I'd hate to choose. Movies like Jurassic Park or Independence Day were particular movies, where Spielberg and Emmerich worked like independent filmmakers. Spielberg is definitely an auteur. And then those other movies, Wes is very handcrafted, and I do love that.

You know, I make sure that I have a good time on any movie. I make sure that I have a good time on any movie. It's, uh, an uncommon privilege.

Any plans on returning to The League?
I had a great time on the League! Nick Kroll my son is hilarious. Anytime they want me back, anytime they ask me back.

Mr Goldblum, what's your favourite food? What's your least favourite?
My favorite food, oh boy, I love all food so much! I'm not picky. And I'm easily entertained and thrilled, but I sure love cold cereal and pizza. And, uh, pasta. But right now I'm making salads and smoothies that thrill me with ecstasy. My least favorite food, hmmmmmmmmm. My least favorite food is some gristly fatty meat.

If you weren't in the entertainment industry, what would you do for a career?
Ahhhh. Well, as I said already in my earlier remarks, I play jazz once a week these days. I play piano with a jazz group, a bunch of great musicians, at a place called Rockwell in the Los Feliz area. So if anyone finds themselves around here, you're cordially invited to come to Rockwell. We had a great time last night, it's Wednesdays, so call them up. And the answer to the question is that I have so much fun doing that is that if I weren't acting, I certainly have a good time doing that every day. I love music and then teaching. I like to teach. I like the classroom.

Can you tell us any stories about Cody, the three-legged dog from The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou?
He was treated grandly, pampered, but I'm always vigilant about animals in show business. They haven't asked for it, and, uh, I'm passionate that they be treated well.

The Big Chill is one of my favorite movies. Can you talk about your experiences on the set?
Totally delightful. Another, uh, semester of communal passionate collaborative intimate story making.

Mr. Goldblum, would you ever do another Jurassic Park film?
Possibly? I had a great time on the two that I did.

I've heard you can wiggle your ears one at a time. How much of your success as an actor do you attribute to this talent?
All of it, hahaha.
Photo/Video credit: Getty Images