'Jersey Shore' recap: Buttheads and Head Butts
We rejoin the scene of the grime, in media res as Ronnie tosses The Situation's things all over the house for meddling and Sitch launches an expectorant offensive at Ronnie. He roars that he doesn't get involved in SamRo 2.0's relationship and gets so worked up that he challenges Ronnie to exchange fisticuffs right then and there. Then, inexplicably he lunges at the wall head-first, quickly bouncing back and onto the floor. Ronnie leaves the room while JWOWW checks out Sitch, who is now in a glassy-eyed daze. She worries that there's something seriously wrong.
Yet, less than a minute later, Sitch pops back up and starts baiting Ronnie again. Like the feral bear that he is, Ronnie goes for it. For the next several minutes, they're on top of each other in a series of wrestling holds all over the room. Gone are the innocent days of JWOWW Atlantic City face pops. This is serious. Sammi is crying. Everybody is screaming, and each is trying to rip the other's head off. In charge a couple of lumbering body guard types that the production staff have clearly have retained in anticipation of this very moment. The outsiders finally pull the guys apart and pin them down. Ronnie screams from underneath, "I've been waiting for a long time to **** you up, bro. A long time." Sitch, whose neck is bleeding I should mention, says that Ronnie started this mess for nothing. He stands up, short torn and walks off, bragging in his interview that "all those muscles didn't do **** to me."
Oh, but it's not over. Sitch calmly takes a perch out in the parlor, but Ronnie calls out to him with more threats. Sitch stands up and yells out that he'll take on Ronnie every day. Sammi tries to calm Ronnie down, but he just tells her to shut the **** up. JWOWW, Snooki, and Deena follow in suit, telling Sammi to leave Ronnie alone. If she doesn't, it'll be Jersey all over again. Hate to tell you, girls, but it already is. When the first bed frame got flipped, I was certainly having flashbacks. To wit, Ronnie assumes gorilla stance and sublimates his desire to crush skulls by verbally abusing Sammi. He tells her that he's been calling girls since he's been in Italy and that she "ain't ****," so "get out of my ****ing face." She wisely takes his advice... or whatever you want to call it.